Upulie DivisekeraIt's difficult not to constantly reflect on twitter here. It's still bewildering to me that I joined it to just chat about politics; and somehow ended up being on radio, tv, writing for newspapers and literary mags. Things I didn't even dare dream of doing before that
I never imagined anyone would think I was worth listening to (consequently, I have made sure I am not), let alone write for outlets. The opportunities - even the encouragement - is a huge novelty and something only such a platform could give me
I can't emphasise enough how much it means to me to be encouraged and invited to do things I didn't even think I was capable of, that I would never have even tried. So yes, BIPOC gain so much from Twitter in a world where we are expected to put our heads down and just work
BrewsterSure, I've learned, as a consequence, just how entrenched racism is, and most bitterly, that talent and ability do not dictate success, that most "friendships" are not worthy of the name. Worst of all, realising that for many, many perfectly nice white people, white supremacy is so ingrained they don't even realise they are doing it. But having it in sharp relief also meant being able to cope better
rather than constantly blaming myself that I must have done something wrong that I couldn't figure out, or was stupid in situations where, objectively, it was not the case.
NerienisI feel very much at sea at the moment, and clinging to the vague hope that I have some talent and capability occasionally revives me and keeps me going - just. And having had those opportunities as evidence that heck, maybe I am not a total failure.
this isn't meant to be a pity party, sorry. I think I'm more depressed than I realised since I'm three months out without a job, and trying to face the reality that at my age, my gender and my race, getting a job, or a second or third chance, is non-existent and I have to recalibrate my whole life.
I've said it before - I don't really like being alive. I think it's one of the surest signs that I'm on the spectrum, because it's not just about self loathing, it's just that it's...a bit meh. It's not about being profoundly depressed, it's just finding life too much and wanting to retreat to stay calm when I have no reason to do so
Dr. Abbie 🌞
Stuart 
Mika McKinnon@upulie Those long stretches without work are so demoralizing & the freelance hustle exhausting.
I think I’ve been on hiatus so long I’m effectively useless for connections, but you can always nudge me for intros if needed. 💚
@mikamckinnon Thank you so much Mika, I may take you up on that. To start with, I think you should read my writing first lol to see if I'm not a lost cause
@upulie You’re not a lost cause, and I’m betting you vastly overestimate how shit the average writer is.
Remember we’re in a space writer’s Slack together
Marian (she/her)@upulie I'm sorry things are crappy 💜💜🫂🫂
Marx's Pert Derriere@upulie Its a numbers game. Keep playing, and your number will come up. Keep playing..
Intuitive Counsellor
Lacci 🐇@upulie 💜💜💜 It's so hard, especially when what you do is part of your identity. You kind of end up feeling used and abandoned.
Theodora Sutcliffe (she/her)@upulie I hope that this platform can come to deliver some of what Twitter did for all of us, in terms of opportunity, community, support. And you're definitely not a failure.
Shaun (parsect on BirdSite)@upulie you don't know me, but you are awesome. All power to you
Andy Rivkin
Emily Lakdawalla@upulie *reaching my hand toward you, also feeling at sea*
*well maybe more like I live on an isolated island and the main ship with which i communicate with the mainland is sinking, and I'm not sure I really need to communicate with the mainland anymore, but you are welcome to visit my island*
shrewshrew@upulie these are hard truths in hard times, and I appreciate you speaking and sharing them