InHouseAutistic#AskingAutistics
I'm curious about how old you were, the first time you remember having a thought along the lines of 'I wonder if I might be autistic'?
And when did you know you were?
7 years for me, from 30-37.
Blogfeedser@EverAutistic 41. Before that it made more sense to think that I was from outer space.
Fish Id Wardrobe@Blogfeedser @EverAutistic Oh HELL this.
@Blogfeedser
Maybe both things are true!
How long did it take from the first thinking the question to the answer?
@EverAutistic I disrupted a psychologist's intake interview a bit in a certain way 😌 and then she suddenly wondered: could it be that this man is autistic? Then I got a formal personality test and that resulted in a formal diagnosis, after half a year or so.
But yes, perhaps both are true!
twilwel antifascist@EverAutistic some 2 years ago, at 57 my oldest sister quietly suggested if I had considered if maybe I wa an Asperger. After some research and an online test it was crystal clear, I totally am an aspie. Quite a relief actually to finally realise why I think so differently than most people. It has set me free, so to speak.
@twilwel
Ah, so your sister considered it first! Do you know how long she'd thought it before she told you?
Realising I'm autistic has been the biggest relief. It feels absolutely monumental!
Ah, so your sister considered it first! Do you know how long she'd thought it before she told you?
Realising I'm autistic has been the biggest relief. It feels absolutely monumental!
@EverAutistic I suppose she considered for some years, but I'll have to ask. I was too flabbergasted at that moment to say anything at all 🤨 🤔 Even though of course I knew I was not normal and had gradually over life accepted that somewhat, it still felt monumental to actually know and realise that it's really not my fault, it's just the way I am. Just like "normal" people can't help themselves 😅
@twilwel I can certainly imagine having way too much going on in that moment to be able to think about those sort of questions.
What you've written here describes my situation exactly!
It's a good reminder to think about that last bit too 😅
What you've written here describes my situation exactly!
It's a good reminder to think about that last bit too 😅
Hazel@EverAutistic I'm 35, I'm not sure when i first had a thought that maybe I'm autistic to be honest... I know my parents know from when I was 6 as that's when the school wanted to get my address and they said no. I first spoke to a GP about getting assessed when I was 20, and at that point has always known I was "different" but never why. I'd guess maybe around age 16 as that's about when I learnt what autism was as I was at cadets with a lad who had "aspergers" and I remember looking it up
@EverAutistic i need an edit function so badly... Was that readable?
@Anlasair
I didn't see this until just now so I can confirm that it was completely readable 😅
I'm feeling less embarrassed about making any errors on Mastodon for some reason. I have a long history of perfectionism so this is very welcome!
I didn't see this until just now so I can confirm that it was completely readable 😅
I'm feeling less embarrassed about making any errors on Mastodon for some reason. I have a long history of perfectionism so this is very welcome!
@EverAutistic i have this awful problem of being seemingly totally incapable of proof reading my own posts until after I've pressed send 🤣
I blame my ADHD
@Anlasair
There's definitely something about pressing 'send' which makes the errors jump out of hiding. Drives me up the wall! I've had it with two work emails today. Suspect ADHD for myself too. Quite the combo!
There's definitely something about pressing 'send' which makes the errors jump out of hiding. Drives me up the wall! I've had it with two work emails today. Suspect ADHD for myself too. Quite the combo!
@Anlasair Wow. I was a teacher for a long time and did encounter quite a number of parents who were a long way away from accepting that their children's differences were not things they were going to (or should) grow out of. How did your parents react when you sought the diagnosis for yourself?
I'm so glad you met that boy who got you thinking about yourself.
I'm so glad you met that boy who got you thinking about yourself.
@EverAutistic they were not all that happy to be honest... My mum is a teacher herself but she has some strange opinions about this sort of thing... And my stepdad, well let's just say when I got diagnosed with dyslexia at college his response was "isn't that just posh talk for thick?" 🙄
They now know about my being autistic and about my ADHD, though they refuse to believe the latter. But they know nothing about my mental illnesses - just not worth it.
@Anlasair
Woah. I'm so sorry you face that sort of dismissal/rudeness/ignorance.
Woah. I'm so sorry you face that sort of dismissal/rudeness/ignorance.
CattsAndCoins@EverAutistic Thought I might be at 27, Figured it out at 31
neurospoons@EverAutistic I started wondering at 36, was diagnosed at 41. Things started making a lot more sense after
Zack is on mastodon.cloud@EverAutistic First time I considered it was probably age 30. By age 33 I was sure enough to self-identify. Probably never would have figured it out without autistic community on the bird site.
@JustGrist
I came to the autistic bird community after listening to the SquarePeg podcast. Hearing from autistic adults was like finding out about something barely recognisable from the stuff I'd been taught about autism as a teacher. It's so infuriating!
Glad you got there a bit faster than me. I wish my self-dx it had come sooner, but glad it did. And I'm really glad I trusted myself before formal dx. I'll always be glad about that.
@EverAutistic I started following a lot of autistic ppl on the bird site bc I felt that was a gap in my disability perspective and so many experiences resonated. I read and watched some vids ppl made but was talking to other autistic folks that helped most.
I still don’t have a formal dx and don’t think I’ll seek one bc of costs, lack of services for autistic adults, and political climate in the US.
Glad for others who want a formal dx that they can get one though.
@JustGrist
Yes formal diagnosis isn't a simple issue, so I don't think there's a 'right for everyone' answer. I wanted it to help me better advocate for myself at work, but I know that it can be used against us, also.
It's horrendous that those who need one face so many barriers. Are there any countries getting this right? I haven't read about any yet :(
Yes formal diagnosis isn't a simple issue, so I don't think there's a 'right for everyone' answer. I wanted it to help me better advocate for myself at work, but I know that it can be used against us, also.
It's horrendous that those who need one face so many barriers. Are there any countries getting this right? I haven't read about any yet :(
@EverAutistic I haven’t read or heard about anywhere really getting it right tbh. I’ve talked to autistic people from several different countries and each system seems to have its drawbacks, all basically related to autistic people not being as exploitable as others would like under capitalism.
Joshu 
@EverAutistic 2 years ago (age 31) I started psychotherapy and also started to do more research to understand my childhood ADHD diagnosis. I came across the birdsites #ActuallyAutistic and #ADHD bubble. And suddenly I could relate to so much of it! Made a online test and brought it into therapy. Luckily my therapist offered to do the screening. I only had like 2 or 3 month between first thought and diagnosis. Still, took (and still takes) me a lot time to accept and not feel like an imposter.
@Joshu
That's so brilliant that you could be assessed by someone who already knew you well. My autism assessor brought up the possibility of ADHD for me too. Reading AuDHD experiences on the birdsite have made me more and more convinced. I don't have the energy or money to go through another assessment any time soon though.
The imposter syndrome is such a struggle. Needs banishing!
Mish Esteves@EverAutistic I was working on a tv episode, researching the use of robots in classrooms and therapy rooms to assist kids on the spectrum. To learn more about the screening tests, I opted to experience it for myself... O’ boy did that decision change my life!
I took the online test that was part of a UK awareness campaign on the underreporting of females on the spectrum.
And the rest is a much longer story...
And despite having spent two European first-class holidays on therapy and psychiatrists, the most common response when someone discovers I am on the spectrum is...
“Oh no, I know you. You are not autistic.” 
@closest_eves
I'd love to know which test that was if you happen to remember. That campaign needs a reboot. I must have missed it and I was clearly exactly who it was aimed at!
So glad you decided to do the screening with the kids. Great realisation story!
I'd love to know which test that was if you happen to remember. That campaign needs a reboot. I must have missed it and I was clearly exactly who it was aimed at!
So glad you decided to do the screening with the kids. Great realisation story!
Sure thing @EverAutistic It was the Adult ASD test. It was a
detailed Autism Quotient for Adults 16 years or more and was at the time run by dealwithautism.com but the website appears to be defunct now :( I took the test around Oct/Nov 2018. So it was a while ago. And here is the doco I watched that led me to the test: Are You Autistic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyHmHyxMLUM
detailed Autism Quotient for Adults 16 years or more and was at the time run by dealwithautism.com but the website appears to be defunct now :( I took the test around Oct/Nov 2018. So it was a while ago. And here is the doco I watched that led me to the test: Are You Autistic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyHmHyxMLUM
Are You Autistic - Full Documentary HD
@closest_eves
This link is blocked where I am but I've just found it on demand - thanks! Going to watch and really hoping it's something I could share with my family. I still need to tell my dad and am looking for something accessible which will explain things and avoid the myths. Just read a review of this and am hopeful!
This link is blocked where I am but I've just found it on demand - thanks! Going to watch and really hoping it's something I could share with my family. I still need to tell my dad and am looking for something accessible which will explain things and avoid the myths. Just read a review of this and am hopeful!
@EverAutistic I also recommend this website: https://embrace-autism.com/
Dee@EverAutistic never even occurred to me till I was an inpatient in the psych clinic after a traumatic…breakdown is the only word for it. No, they certainly didn’t diagnose me in the clinic either, but that’s when I knew #ADHD wasn’t my only problem. I found #ActuallyAutistic twitter, which saved me, and then eventually got diagnosed. I was early 50s 😞
@ADDeeCee
Podcasts and reading got me to get my GP to refer me, but it's the community on Twitter which helped me get to the point of self diagnosis. I feel I owe it so much and am so angry that I don't feel I can use it anymore. But it's the Autistic part of Autistic Twitter which made it great, and that's CLEARLY here ♾️ 🧠 💛
So sorry to hear it took a breakdown like that to get you started on the path. But so happy you made it!
Podcasts and reading got me to get my GP to refer me, but it's the community on Twitter which helped me get to the point of self diagnosis. I feel I owe it so much and am so angry that I don't feel I can use it anymore. But it's the Autistic part of Autistic Twitter which made it great, and that's CLEARLY here ♾️ 🧠 💛
So sorry to hear it took a breakdown like that to get you started on the path. But so happy you made it!
Alex Harpin@EverAutistic I started thinking about if I’m autistic when I was 30 years old. I started exploring this more thoroughly when I was 35 years old and then I knew I am autistic at 36 years old.
@AlexHarpin
Pretty similar to me. Glad you got there a little faster. Really think every year/month/week/day make a difference.
I think those birthdays ending in a zero often bring up a lot of soul searching!
Sebastian Marsching@EverAutistic
I had my first suspicion when I watched a documentary about young autistic adults, which must have been when I was about 25 to 27 (I am not sure about the exact year).
I didn’t follow up on it back then, but when I was 35, I accidentally got in touch with other autistic people on Twitter, and my suspicion grew. I finally was diagnosed at age 36, so about 8 to 10 years in total.
I had my first suspicion when I watched a documentary about young autistic adults, which must have been when I was about 25 to 27 (I am not sure about the exact year).
I didn’t follow up on it back then, but when I was 35, I accidentally got in touch with other autistic people on Twitter, and my suspicion grew. I finally was diagnosed at age 36, so about 8 to 10 years in total.
@SMarsching
I love the 'accidentally' part! It does seem to be proving pretty undeniable that we're drawn to each other. The friends who I've stayed in touch with over the years are overwhelmingly ND (diagnosed and not).
Hoping the next generations are going to get to their discovery a lot faster than us!
I love the 'accidentally' part! It does seem to be proving pretty undeniable that we're drawn to each other. The friends who I've stayed in touch with over the years are overwhelmingly ND (diagnosed and not).
Hoping the next generations are going to get to their discovery a lot faster than us!
Le Kendall@EverAutistic the first time I wondered was when I first started to read stories and see films about autistic people. Hugely stereotyped and yet I recognised something in myself… I might have been 8 or 9 at the time? There was a BSC book about an autistic savant that I found so compelling that I started to seek those stories out.
@EverAutistic I wondered on and off about it over the years but mostly assured myself that given I had been seeing psychiatrists and psychologists for my emotional problems and difficulties with… everything…
My son was diagnosed autistic when he was 3 and I was 36. And more and more I said “I can explain what he’s going through here because it’s just like me”
I was diagnosed at 39.
Thirty years.
@ephant
Same for me. Treatment for mental health since I was 17, but no mention of autism (despite clear ARFID, though it didn't have it's own name at the time). I even had one pyschotherapist tell me I wasn't autistic without me asking! But he also thought autism was an response to trauma, so clearly not someone to listen to.
30 years. Wow. It's validating to know you were right back then, but so frustrating. I'm sure your son is going to benefit so much from your understanding of yourself.
@ephant
That's brilliant. I don't think I even heard the word autism until my mid teens. And it was so much longer until I knew anything past the stereotypes. Even when teaching autistic kids I thought I was just strongly empathetic with them 🤦♀️
What's B2C?
@EverAutistic BSC - babysitters club
@ephant
PS. Your hair is INCREDIBLE!
PS. Your hair is INCREDIBLE!
@EverAutistic not always so many colours these days but I just can’t move on from that profile pic because my hair was SO GOOD.
@ephant
It was indeed! 🌈 ♾️ 🏆
It was indeed! 🌈 ♾️ 🏆
Anxious Cat@ephant @EverAutistic There was a movie that came out the year I graduated from high school called “Little Man Tate” about a child savant who struggles to fit in anywhere. That film resonated deeply with me - I identified with the main character, and the film captured the loneliness I felt so well. I watched it again after I figured out I am autistic, and it’s clear to me now that the main character was autistic, albeit a stereotypical representation.
@EverAutistic I was late forties. My daughter was diagnosed. We're like two parts of the same brain (sometimes). Bit of an eye-opener.
I knew something was "wrong" at about … 11? But I just thought I was a bit … broken.
EaterOfSnacks@fishidwardrobe @EverAutistic parallel life stories - almost exactly the same here!
sarahcormikell@fishidwardrobe
So many of us knew we were different and thought we were broken :( I'm so glad your daughter will know differently. I'm working on getting my family to understand that they might be autistic too, but it's going to be a long road.
So many of us knew we were different and thought we were broken :( I'm so glad your daughter will know differently. I'm working on getting my family to understand that they might be autistic too, but it's going to be a long road.
Chris 
@EverAutistic this year, at 42, the penny finally dropped
@looneybyron
Did you have one big moment where it dropped?
I had a period of swinging back and forth between being completely convinced, and feeling like I was being ridiculous. It was exhausting! So relieved to be out the other side.
Did you have one big moment where it dropped?
I had a period of swinging back and forth between being completely convinced, and feeling like I was being ridiculous. It was exhausting! So relieved to be out the other side.
@EverAutistic I was like you for a long time, but once I started talking to people they confirmed my suspicions. It just explains everything! And my parents did take me in when I was little but seeing as it was the early 80s I did not get diagnosed then (as a girl who was verbal).
@looneybyron
Yes it's really hard (and perhaps pointless, I'm not sure) trying to work out if earlier diagnosis would have been beneficial. I was little in the 80s/90s too, and also highly verbal .
Yes it's really hard (and perhaps pointless, I'm not sure) trying to work out if earlier diagnosis would have been beneficial. I was little in the 80s/90s too, and also highly verbal .
@EverAutistic I think it would have been beneficial for me because I ended up with a lot of trauma.
Ed Yother 
@EverAutistic 44. I joined tiktok early in the pandemic.
@edyother
I really hate the dismissive response some people have to those of us who learn about ourselves through social media. Really, for so many, it's the first time we see/hear enough autistic adults to understand what it means to be autistic.
I really hate the dismissive response some people have to those of us who learn about ourselves through social media. Really, for so many, it's the first time we see/hear enough autistic adults to understand what it means to be autistic.
Overclocked CNS@EverAutistic @edyother Especially given the people we're supposed to trust instead have done a great deal of harm to many of us when we first sought help the "acceptable" or "official" way.
Johnny Profane Âû☝️☝️☝️☝️My story👈👈👈👈
Cassandra@EverAutistic I think I only began wondering about this when the pandemic started and I spent a lot more time reading other people's experiences on Twitter. (So: early forties.)
"When did I know" is an ongoing process for me. I actually keep forgetting, and then the world reminds me.
@Cassandra
Reading/hearing/watching autistic adults talk about autism (rather than NT 'information' about it) was a complete game changer for me, too.
I struggled for a long time with doubt, even after I was convinced enough to get my GP to refer me for assessment. But self-diagnosed a few months later and am so glad I did. It means a lot that I trusted myself ahead of the formal assessment.
'The world keeps reminding me' is interesting - reminding you you're 'different'?