Parents Can Reignite Their Teen’s Love For Learning, A New Book Shows How
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It’s natural – your child is in school for many years, and as they grow, they become more exposed to outside resources beyond what they learn in school, such as social media.
Beyond the use of social media, there is the added pressure of making friends, fitting in with their peers, and being successful in extracurricular activities. This may result in a loss of love of learning, which can be challenging for parents to understand and address.
Evidence Says Parents Can Reignite A Child’s Love Of Learning
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But there is solid evidence that parents can reignite their teen’s love of learning! In a new book titled The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better. The book has 5 stars on Amazon with 50 reviews since it was released on January 7, 2025.
Research in the co-authored book shows that parents have as much of an impact on their teens when engaging with them just as much as their peers or teachers do, even when it appears that their child does not reciprocate that engagement.
Authors Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop identify four different “modes” that teens can get stuck in, which hinder their ability to perform well in school and engage their innate desire to learn and grow. That’s where parents can step in. Learning what “mode” your child is in helps determine how you engage with them and steer their focus back to a love for learning.
The Trick Is To Be Invitational Instead Of Instructive
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According to the authors, the best way for parents to ignite their teen’s love of learning is to be “invitational” rather than “instructive.”
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By inviting your child into a conversation, you have a better chance of getting them to engage in some fashion, whether putting down their phone for a couple of minutes or divulging information about how school and classes are going.
How Can Parents Be More Invitational?
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Both Anderson and Winthrop suggest several ways parents can be more “invitational” with their teens and provide more open-ended discussions rather than instructional conversations.
Examples include leading with the good things, such as their favorite classes, and asking what they might struggle with. Parents can also take a back seat, letting their teen explore what brings them joy, not necessarily what the parent thinks would bring them happiness.
As a parent, the two examples I found the most compelling were to reserve judgment and not to take away the thing that brings them joy as a form of punishment. While that doesn’t mean that there can’t be boundaries and limits set on the things that your teen enjoys, it does mean that completely cutting them off from their interests only alienates them more from wanting to engage in open-ended and “invitational” interactions with you as their parent. For example, we recently wrote about ways to set healthy screen limits for kids.
Ultimately, reigniting your teen’s love of learning is possible, but it also requires some discipline on the parents’ part. If anything, this may make you feel even closer to your teen as you work together to become more open and accepting of each other!
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Michael W. Roberts