Andy Arthur - Threadinburgh“Indifference to Practically Everything But Rhyme”: the thread about William McGonagall’s elegy to Leith
“A classic example of his indifference to practically everything but rhyme“; the withering summary by an Edinburgh Evening News journalist in 2002 when recalling the work The Ancient Town of Leith by the poet and tragedian William McGonagall (or as he liked to style himself later in life; Sir William Topaz McGonagall, Knight of the White Elephant of Burmah). Sir William is a man most associated with the city of Dundee, but was born and would die in Edinburgh and is fondly remembered for his prolific output of universally awful poetry. In the words of Hugh McDiarmid:
McGonagall is in a very special category, and has it all to himself.
Close up of the title of the printed poem, including McGonagall’s signature.According to his biography by Norman Watson, McGonagall and his wife returned to Edinburgh via Leith in May 1895. Inspired by his new surroundings – and by his perpetual lack of money – he immediately got to work churning out locally-themed broadsides such as “Beautiful Edinburgh“, “New North Bridge Ceremonials” or “Lines In Praise of Professor Blackie“. These he attempted to hawk on the streets to make ends meet and to try and get himself invited into the parlours of polite (and hopefully, paying) society. By the time he penned The Ancient Town of Leith the McGonagalls were resident at 21 Lothian Street (demolished in 1912 to make way for an extension to the Royal Scottish Museum) and his health, finances and reputation were all in terminal decline.
Without further ado, let us take a few minutes to distract ourselves from modern life and enjoy this stellar example of “Sir” William’s absolute commitment to his craft:
THE ANCIENT TOWN OF LEITH
A New Poem
By Sir WILLIAM TOPAZ McGONAGALL
Knight of the White Elephant, Burmah
Ancient town of Leith, most wonderful to be seen,
With your many handsome buildings, and lovely links so
green,
And the first buildings I may mention are the Courthouse and
Town-Hall,
Also Trinity House, and the Sailors’ Home of Call.
Then as for Leith Fort, it was erected in 1779, which is really
grand,
And which is now the artillery headquarters in Bonnie Scot-
land;
And as for the Docks, they are magnificent to see,
They comprise five docks, two piers, 1,141 yards long
respectively.
And there’s steamboat communication with London and the
North of Scotland,
And the fares are really cheap and the accommodation most
grand;
Then there’s many public works in Leith, such as flour mills,
And chemical works, where medicines are made for curing
many ills.
Besides, there are sugar refineries and distilleries,
Also engineer works, saw-mills, rope-works, and breweries,
Where many of the inhabitants are daily employed,
And the wages they receive make their hearts feel overjoyed.
In past times Leith shared the fortunes of Edinboro’,
Because if withstood nine months’ siege, which caused them
great sorrow;
They fought against the Protestants in 1559 and in ’60,
But they beat them back manfully and made them flee.
Then there’s Bailie Gibson’s fish shop, most elegant to be seen,
And the fish he sells there are, beautiful and clean;
And for himself, he is a very good man,
And to deny it there’s few people can.
The suburban villas of Leith are elegant and grand,
With accommodation that might suit the greatest lady in the land;
And the air is pure and good for the people’s health,—
And health, I’m sure, is better by far than wealth.
The Links of Leith are beautiful for golfers to play,
After they have finished the toils of the day;
It is good for their health to play at golf there,
On that very beautiful green, and breathe the pure air.
The old town of Leith is situated at the junction of the River of
Leith,
Which springs from the land of heather and heath;
And no part in the Empire is growing so rapidly,
Which the inhabitants of Leith are right glad to see.
And Leith in every way is in itself independent,
And has been too busy to attend to its own adornment;
But I venture to say and also mention
That the authorities to the town will pay more attention.
Ancient town of Leith, I must now conclude my muse,
And to write in praise of thee my pen does not refuse,
Because the inhabitants to me have been very kind,
And I’m sure more generous people would be hard to find.
They are very affable in temper and void of pride,
And I hope God will always for them provide;
May He shower His blessings upon them by land and sea,
Because they have always been very kind to me.
William McGonagall, “The Poet Laureate of the Silvery Tay” died penniless and largely forgotten at 5 South College Street in Edinburgh in 1902 and was buried in an unmarked grave in Greyfriars’ Kirkyard. A plaque marks the approximate spot, but was not erected until 1999. If you’d like to own this original, signed copy of this magnificent work then it is currently up for auction next week by Lyon & Turnbull: bidding start at only two-hundred and twenty of your hard-earned pounds!
McGonagall’s memorial in Greyfriars’ Kirkyard. CC-by-SA 2.0, Lisa via WikimediaIf you have found this useful, informative or amusing, perhaps you would like to help contribute towards the running costs of this site – including keeping it ad-free and my book-buying budget to find further stories to bring you – by supporting me on ko-fi. Or please do just share this post on social media or amongst friends.
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