Mel Robbins Let Them Theory Explained for You

There’s a theory I came across recently—one that cracked something open inside me. It’s called “The Let Them Theory.” Mel Robbins popularized it in her book, and the idea is simple: if people want to misunderstand you, let them. If they want to leave, let them. If they want to doubt you, let them.

It’s not a theory built on spite. It’s not about proving people wrong or cutting them off with attitude. It’s about release. About turning your energy inward and saying: I’ve got better things to focus on—namely, me.

I didn’t know there was a name for what I’d been practicing in pockets of my life for years, but when I heard it framed this way, I felt seen.

But of course, it gets complicated when you throw culture into the mix.

Cultural Expectations Don’t Let You “Let Them”

If you come from a collectivist culture—like many Latine communities—you’re often raised to not let people be. You’re taught to correct, to adjust, to keep the peace, to stay even when it costs you.

• They said something offensive? Be polite.
• They dismissed your boundaries? Be forgiving.
• They questioned your choices? Explain harder.

Because we’re raised to protect the family image. To not make waves. To sacrifice “self” for the greater good, especially when that good is defined by others.

So when I started living by “Let Them,” it felt rebellious. But more than that—it felt freeing.

Let them think I’m too American.
Let them say I’m too Dominican.
Let them misunderstand the way I parent, or pray, or write, or live.
Let them believe what they want about how I left, how I stayed, how I speak.
Let them gossip. Let them guess.

It’s not my job to keep adjusting to make everyone else more comfortable.
Especially when my comfort has never been anyone’s priority but mine.

“Let Them” Is Not Indifference—It’s Boundaries

Here’s where I think people get it twisted. Practicing “Let Them” doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means I’m choosing where my care goes. It means I no longer chase validation from people who have made it clear they don’t value my voice, my identity, or my growth.

“Let Them” doesn’t mean I don’t feel the sting. It means I don’t let that sting run my life.

It’s not a wall—it’s a doorway away from trying to be palatable.

How “Let Them” Heals Cultural Guilt

Cultural guilt is real. It lingers in the background when you try to live differently, dream louder, or move beyond the path that was laid out for you. Especially as a daughter. As a mother. As a creative. As a bruja. As a woman.

But “Let Them” is a balm for that guilt.

It says:
Let them say I changed.
Let them say I’m different now.
Let them question the book I wrote, the words I chose, the stories I told.

Let them.

I don’t owe them a version of myself that stays small.

And the more I lean into this mindset, the more I see the shift in how I spend my energy. I no longer spend days rehearsing conversations that I’ll never have. I don’t write long paragraphs to defend myself in my head. I live. I speak. I write. I move.

And those who are meant to walk with me in this season? They don’t need convincing.

The Ordinary Bruja: Book One of Las Cerradoras Series – Johanny Ortega

When grief pulls Marisol Espinal back to Willowshade, she uncovers a legacy buried in shadows, silence, and ancestral magic. The Ordinary Bruja is a haunting coming-of-age story that blends psychological horror with Dominican folklore and magical realism. For fans of Silvia Moreno-Garcia and Isabel Cañas.

If you love what you read, I’d be honored to hear your thoughts. Please leave a review on your preferred platform and let other readers find the magic in The Ordinary Bruja.

Procrastination, Culture, and the Soft Rebellion

Now, I’ll be honest—“Let Them” also requires self-awareness. Because there are times when I let myself wallow a little too long. I’ll call it rest, but really it’s resistance. I’ll call it peace, but it’s avoidance.

That’s when I check myself.

Because “Let Them” also applies inwardly.

Let the inner critic chatter.
Let the doubt be there.
Let it sit—and then keep going anyway.

It’s not about never being triggered or never second-guessing. It’s about not letting those things run your life.

The Beauty in Letting Go

There’s power in refusing to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. There’s liberation in not performing your worth for family, for community, for followers, for anyone.

And there’s beauty in choosing to be—without a constant need to be understood.

So if you’re navigating the tension between who your culture told you to be and who you’re becoming, this is for you:

Let them be confused.
Let them shake their heads.
Let them miss the version of you that dimmed your light to make them comfortable.

And let yourself rise in the process.

#boundaries #culturalExpectations #emotionalGrowth #LatineIdentity #letThemTheory #MelRobbins #peoplePleasing #reclaimingPeace

Bungalow at Villa

Dinner at a seaside restaurant the night before heading to Bequia.

https://islandinthenet.com/bungalow-villa/

Why We Don’t Have to Do It All — Not in Life, Not in Fiction

Being a Latina woman often feels like carrying the world’s weight on your shoulders.

From a young age, many of us are taught to juggle everything: be the caretaker, excel at work, preserve traditions, and maintain a spotless home. I’m literally writing this while taking a break from mopping the floor. That’s the rhythm we’re taught—clean, cook, work, smile. Repeat.

We are expected to be everything to everyone—the selfless mother, the devoted daughter, the hardworking professional, and the keeper of cultural values. But at what cost?

The Roots of the Expectation

The pressure to “do it all” isn’t just modern hustle culture—it’s deeply rooted in our cultural upbringing and generational patterns. In many Latine households, the idea of marianismo—the counterpart to machismo—reinforces that we should be self-sacrificing, nurturing, and morally unshakeable. And while these traits are often praised, they can quietly become cages.

Cultural sayings like “La mujer es el corazón del hogar” (The woman is the heart of the home) sound beautiful… until you realize how heavy it is to be the heart of something every single day. To never skip a beat. To feel like if you fall apart, so does everything else.

The Modern-Day Pressure Cooker

Today, we’re straddling two worlds. We chase careers, passions, education—and still feel expected to carry on all the domestic traditions without missing a step. That duality? It often leads to burnout, guilt, and an invisible scale we can never balance.

Social media intensifies it. One scroll and you see other women baking from scratch, launching businesses, looking flawless, raising kids, honoring culture—and doing it all in perfect lighting. The unspoken rule becomes: if you’re not doing it all—and perfectly—you’re not enough.

But here’s the thing: that’s a lie.

And it’s one I’ve not only had to unlearn for myself, but it’s also one I’ve written into my characters—because these expectations don’t just weigh on real people. They bleed into our inner lives, our self-worth, our sense of possibility. That’s why I gave this burden to Marisol Espinal in The Ordinary Bruja.

Marisol Espinal: A Reflection of Us

Marisol may live in a world touched by ancestral magic, but the pressure she carries is all too real. She’s the product of generations of silence, of cultural rules passed down without explanation. She’s expected to behave, to stay grounded, to not “make things up,” to hold the family’s reputation while trying to uncover its truth. She’s expected to be reliable and ordinary, even as the unexplainable calls to her.

And that’s the story for so many of us, right? Be dependable. Be useful. Be strong. But never too much. Never too loud, too angry, too curious, too bold. Never too yourself.

Marisol’s story reflects what happens when those expectations become internalized—when someone begins to wonder if the life they actually want is too far from the one they’re expected to live. She doesn’t rebel outwardly at first. She folds in on herself, quietly suffocated. And that, to me, is far more common and far more devastating than we like to admit.

Breaking the Pattern—In Fiction and in Life

So how do we break free?

Here’s what I’ve learned—and what I’ve written into both my life and my work:

Set Boundaries: Saying “no” is a powerful act of self-preservation. Not everything deserves your yes.

Redefine Success: Maybe success isn’t doing everything. Maybe it’s choosing what matters and doing that with your whole heart.

Ask for Help: You don’t need to be the only one scrubbing floors. You know who helped me clean my house today? My husband and our kids—because it’s our house. Shared space means shared responsibility.

Embrace Imperfection: The dishes can wait. You can’t. Your peace is more important than your productivity.

Celebrate Yourself: You’re here. You’re doing the work. That deserves to be seen and celebrated.

Moving Forward

The cultural expectations placed on Latine women are real—and they are heavy. But they don’t have to define us.

We’re allowed to change the narrative.
We’re allowed to drop what doesn’t serve us.
And we’re allowed to write ourselves into stories where the main character—like Marisol—gets to choose herself.

So whether you’re a real-life mujer balancing everything or a reader watching Marisol learn to stop holding it all in… I hope you find relief in the knowing:

You don’t have to do it all to be worthy.
You are enough—just as you are.

#breakingCycles #culturalExpectations #generationalPressure #identityInFiction #latineStorytelling #latineWomanhood #marisolEspinal #ownvoicesAuthor #TheOrdinaryBruja #writingComplexCharacters

Over 22 Million Pakistanis Waiting To Get Married Due To Girls' High Demands.

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#MarriageCrisis #PakistanMarriage #HighDemands #MarriageDelays #WeddingBells #SocialIssues #MarriageTrends #PakistanYouth #MarriageEconomy #CulturalExpectations

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