It is amusing looking back over how my politics have evolved over time. I went from not thinking or caring about politics very much to being exposed to Marx by a Greek Stalinist while working crazy hours to support my family at the time. I went in whole hog after reading Wage Labor & Capital and discussing with people I worked with why you should put the care minimum of effort into work.
Then of course I feel down the weird rabbit hole of being way too online and collection descriptors to my politics like I was catching Pokémon. I went from a Marxist to a Marxist-Leninist and basically became an overly edgy cringelord thinking I was saying anything useful. Then it evolved into Marxist-Leninist-Maoist and that is when I collided my ideology with the Occupy movement.
I went into it apprehensively because the local occupy was mostly just fully is self-righteous democrats who wanted a big tent movement. It also showed me how naive I was about the level of surveillance by the state. We were constantly recorded by police and Tea Party members with the effort to fix and blacklist us from working in our small community. It was an eye opening experience in that regard and highlighted the need to avoid surveillance during actions and having a strong sense of security online. Fast forward to it imploding as it was hijacked by sovereign citizens, libertarians, and other whacky ideologues. Which really soured me on any big tent methods of organizing.
After feeling burned out with all the energy put into Occupy and it feeling a waste. My 20 something ass decided that I was burned out with leftists and liberals and made the galaxy brain decision while entering college to be a galaxy brain authoritarian centrist. Which looking back on was kind of the inevitable path of Stalinism anyways.
During my last year of college I decided to get back to basics and started reading Marx again. That lead to me reading a lot of other writers especially of the so called "LeftCom" milieu. It definitely helped relieve me of this you must read theory in order to be a communist nonsense I had before.
At this point I still love reading theory and writings but it definitely isn't the life consuming thing it used to be in my late teens and early 20s. I definitely still land within the Italian side of left communism. Though I am going out of my way to read more anarchist literature and I thought Kolektiva would be a good exposure as well. Especially after reading Marx's writings on the Paris Commune.
TL;DR This was just a stream of consciousness writing that is way too self-indulgent but it felt good to get out written down. RIP to anyone that reads this malarkey.
#Goldbricking #SelfindulgentBullshit #CheaperThanTherapy #Clown #Marx #Anarchy #Kolektiva #SweetMotherOfGodStopTyping
Allyson Shaw
🇨🇦 robyn 💜
JF 
Cromley
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