I had a cis dismissal moment last night.
Usually it comes with a slight hand wave and the words "oh, it can't be that bad?"

The latest in a long line of dismissal, from talking about who I am (or was) to how I felt and my own needs. (There's one story I have that led to dad absolutely regretting dismissing me, certainly)...

I did snap back and I felt bad about it. I still do.

I've spent pretty much all my life trying to and wanting to be understood. Yet, even when I have tried to articulate things, mostly verbally, it has led to dismissal and ignorance.

It's absolutely the most Trans thing ever, right?

Over time immemorial, trans folk have tried to explain who they are and why.
And The Cis (at large, Not All Cis disclaimer here) just don't get it.

Certainly, we as a community, and individually have tried and tried. Way Back When, the shorthand was "born in the wrong body". (I can't recall if I ever used that one).
Currently I'm at "it just works better this way", if I bother to try at all.

So it got me thinking about the stories we tell, how we have tried in many different ways to explain to The Cis the how and why if who we are.

And I despair that it doesn't seem to have got us very far.
Are we missing something? Are The Cis just not trying hard enough or just don't care enough?

Or is this just wibble while my MH wobbles with everything right now?

Let me know.

#TransExperience

After seeing some concerning posts after the supreme court discission regarding terminology I felt driven to talk about gatekeeping in our community and the harm it does to vulnerable people. #Trans #Transrights #LGBTQIA #Transcommunity #TransExperience #gatekeeping #Transjourney #Pride

https://narrativecuriosity.co/the-ultimate-kick-in-the-guts-time-to-ditch-the-gatekeeping/

-- America’s Mouth Is Full of Blood --

Metal scrapes enamel. That specific sound teeth make when hygienist finds the tender spot. My mouth stretched wide by latex fingers and chrome instruments. Can’t speak. Can’t swallow. Can’t look away from the ceiling TV where CNN scrolls red banners about political assassination.

“Just a little pressure here,” she says, digging deeper.

Minnesota lawmaker dead. Husband dead. Second lawmaker critical.

The suction tube gurgles pink water. Taste of iron and mint. My tongue trapped under dental dam while democracy bleeds out on mute television. Perfect fucking symmetry.

Phone in pocket buzzes against hip bone. Can’t check it. Hands gripping armrests like I’m falling out of a republic.

“You’ve got some buildup on the lower incisors,” hygienist continues, oblivious or indifferent to the news crawl. “Have you been flossing?”

Assassination at 2 AM. Man dressed as cop. AK-style weapons. The details drip into consciousness like novocaine, numbing everything they touch. I try to nod about flossing but the tools prevent movement. Democracy’s molars crumble while I can’t even close my jaw.

Melissa Hortman. Dead at scene. Multiple gunshot wounds.

The overhead light burns retinal afterimages. Hygienist hums something unrecognizable. Country music or hymn or both. Her gloved fingers taste like institutional latex, that specific medical flavor of enforced vulnerability. I breathe through my nose. Count ceiling tiles. Try not to think about how this same helplessness scales up to continental collapse.

Read More:
https://pixelnull.substack.com/p/americas-mouth-is-full-of-blood

#politics #uspol #collapse #longform #writing #transwriter #transexperience #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gonzo #news

My latest YouTube video looks at the challenge and important step of finding our new name. A bit of advice as well as an opportunity to tell a bit more of my story. Hopefully, it is helpful for anyone struggling with this at the moment. #trans #transition #names #transjourney #transexperience

https://youtu.be/PaVN85qfTfE

It's been 3 years since I came out as trans, and it continues to be a challenging journey. The last 12 months especially I have seen some new lows but hopefully it has put me on a more positive trajectory for the future. #Trans #transjourney #Translife #Seperation #transexperience #movingon

https://narrativecuriosity.co/my-transition-journey-the-hardest-year-so-far/

-- Constitutional Spitroast --

The legal language glows on my laptop. Bloodless. Technical. “The Secretary of Defense may determine those military activities that are reasonably necessary and appropriate.”

Reasonable…

Appropriate…

Words still dressed in their Sunday best while weekend passes expired for constitutional separation of powers.

Weather alert flashes. Storm warnings. Barometric collapse. Democracy depression incoming from the southwest. Pressure dropping inside my skull in time with atmospheric systems.

Trump’s order hands federal land to the military. Creates “military installations” on US territory. Gives Pentagon jurisdiction over American soil with rules of engagement drafted by generals, not legislators. Legal document reads like necropsy report for republic that died without anyone noticing. Constitution didn’t flatline dramatically. Just got quietly rewritten in bureaucrat-ese while Americans argued about gas prices.

Read More:
https://pixelnull.substack.com/p/constitutional-spitroast

#politics #uppol #collapse #longform #writing #transwriter #transexperience #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gonzo #news

Understanding My Trans Journey

I’ve signed off many posts on my blog with the sentence “The journey continues.” It’s time I expounded a bit on the meaning behind that.

continues at the link

https://janetannelogan.com/2024/09/27/understanding-my-trans-journey/

#Trans, #TransElders, #TransExperience, #Transgender

I'm dealing with a lot right now and the fact that people still seem to be grieving me and dwelling on their 'loss' is definitely a big part of that so I thought I would open up a little about the impact on me. #Trans #TransLife #TransExperience #grief

https://narrativecuriosity.co/the-ongoing-consequences-of-grief-we-are-still-here-just-trying-to-be-happy/