Sometimes my caring responsibilities feel too much and I snap in frustration over something stupid.

That’s followed by guilt and shame at being angry with the person I love most. I hate myself for hurting their feelings. But of course it’s too late when you’ve hurt someone.

I wish I could find the way to not feel so trapped, as though I’m serving a life sentence. I don’t always feel this way but when I do the taste is bitter.

My person is funny, sensitive and sweet, and is mystified by my explosive emotions/reactions (They’re neurodivergent and not inclined to be loudly expressive like me. We’re so different.) I so wish I was more easygoing and could let ‘stuff’ wash over me.

The weird thing is I don’t seem to see it building up and when the flashpoint blows it’s always over something ridiculous.

I wish I could find the way to change…

#carer #caring #SorryTooLate #autism