Mastodawn

Corporate curse words:

Instead of "get fucked," you can say, "get organized."

Instead of "fuck you," try, "organize yourself."

Instead of "did I fucking stutter?" you can say, "per my previous email..."

Instead of "what the hell is wrong with you, you fucking idiot?" you can ask, "would it be helpful to schedule a refresher?"

#protip to make Buldak Spicy Ramen palatable for farang tastebuds, add cream cheese.

Why buy a weighted blanket when you can just dump your clean laundry on your blanket and never fold it?

This easy Sweet and sour pork recipe is one of the most well-known Chinese dishes outside of China. It is believed to be a Cantonese dish.

So Yummy! So Easy!

ProTip: Quattro de Mayo is a great day to hit up your local Mexican joint. Maybe siete, too.

#protip: find online friends in every timezone to make it easier to procrastinate

@Mateusz nie trzeba bylo tej muchy polykac. Tylko udawaj ze lapiesz. #protip

If you have ever wanted a silent Bluetooth keyboard for your computer, all you need is to spill a Fanta into the keyboard and let it dry.

The keys might be a little sticky and not always responding, but they are dead silent!