"I got a job selling menswear in C&A in Oxford Street.
The lady who interviewed me seemed very positive and had a good vibe about her. She told me the company philosophy was about providing good-quality, stylish clothes at affordable prices, so that everybody would have the opportunity of dressing well, regardless of budget.
I loved that idea! She said it was a Dutch firm, but very international, and that they had a progressive approach towards staff and that there were good prospects for those prepared to work hard. It sounded great.
But my experience in the store was very different. On my first day, the menswear department supervisor, Mr George, gave me a booklet describing what was expected from me as a C&A employee. Being serious about the position, I asked him if I could take the booklet home to study it. He said, 'No,' in what I took to be an authoritative, yet petty tone.
'Staff rules state that these booklets must remain here.'
I decided he was a berk and within a short space of time, I realised that this company was anything but what it said it was.
For the summer sale, instead of reducing their current stock, as many retail outlets do, they brought in the cheapest, nastiest-looking casual jackets I'd ever seen, specifically for the sale. These 'windcheaters' were badly made Terylene and absolute rubbish. It was obvious this firm was just interested in making money, and not the philosophy that the personnel lady had sold me.
I complained to my immediate supervisor, Mr Hale. 'I thought C&A was about selling good-quality clothes at prices affordable to everybody. Why are we selling this crap?'
"The company is just making some money in the sale,' he said.
I didn't like it. During a moment when the other assistants were busy, I took one of the rubbishy, off-white jackets into the changing room, took out my black pen and wrote the word CRAP right across the back of it, in big letters. Then I put it back on the hanger, at the front of the rail so the writing was clearly visible to any customers.
About an hour later, Mr Hale was standing with my main boss, Mr George. They were holding the jacket I'd defaced and looking at me.
It was obvious I was the culprit.
I began to hate the company and started to look for ways to amuse myself.
C&A brought a German guy over from Hamburg to work in the menswear department. They often brought trainee executives onto the shop floor, to give them some store experience before they went on their management path. This fellow was decent and about 27 years old.
He had only a basic grasp of the English language. On his first day he came over to introduce himself to me in his strong German accent.
Looking at the C&A name badge on my jacket lapel, he said, 'Hello, Mr Rowland, my name is Gerhard Lange.'
'Hello, Gerhard,' I said.
Seeing the letter 'K' before 'Rowland' on my badge, he said, 'What does this "K" mean?'
'What does it mean?' I said. 'It doesn't mean anything, it's my initial for my first name.' I was playing for time and sensing an opportunity for fun.
'Yes, but what is the first name?'
Ah, you're asking, what is my first name?'
'Yes!' he replied, earnestly.
'Kunt,' I said.
'Kunt?' He'd never heard the word - he'd only been in the country five days.
'Yes. Kunt Rowland is my name,' I said.
Very good. I am pleased to meet you, Kunt.'
Nice to meet you too, Gerhard.'
We were both working on the trousers section and he was senior to me. Sometimes he would shout instructions across the busy store, 'Kunt! Please come and help me with these trousers!'
Or if he was feeling impatient with me, he would say, 'Come on, Kunt, hurry up!'
Old men and women would look up, startled and unable to believe what they were hearing."
— Kevin Rowland: Bless Me Father, pp. 112-114
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