5 Steps to Write Funny Nonfiction (On Humor)

Humor columnist Karim Shamsi-Basha reveals five steps to write funny nonfiction, including the importance of tension, revision, and more.
The post 5 Steps to Write Funny Nonfiction (On Humor) appeared first on Writer's Digest.
https://www.writersdigest.com/5-steps-to-write-funny-nonfiction-on-humor

#HumorinNonfiction #WriteBetterNonfiction #FunnyMoments #humorwriting #HumorWritingTechniques

Dr. Seuss, the Original King of Holiday Trash Talk

Theodor Seuss Geisel wrote some of the most successful children’s books in human history. Six hundred to seven hundred million copies sold worldwide. That is not “popular.” That is cultural domination. The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham alone could fund several small countries. Dr. Seuss was not just an author. He was a publishing juggernaut with a felt hat.

There is no debate here. The man was a genius.

But after sitting down yesterday and listening, really listening, to “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” something else became painfully clear.

Dr. Seuss was an elite-level trash talker.

Not casual shade. Not playground insults. This was precision-engineered verbal annihilation wrapped in rhyme and handed to children with a smile. The song, written for the 1966 animated special How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, is a masterclass in lyrical character assassination. Add Albert Hague’s music and Thurl Ravenscroft’s bass voice, and suddenly you are not hearing a song. You are witnessing a public execution conducted by a baritone.

Seuss could have called the Grinch rude. Or unpleasant. Or a real jerk. Instead, he chose violence.

Verse one does not ease into it. There is no warm-up.

“You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch

You really are a heel

You’re as cuddly as a cactus

You’re as charming as an eel

You’re a bad banana with a greasy, black peel.”

A bad banana. Not overripe. Not bruised. Greasy. Black. That banana has been through things and none of them were good. This is less an insult and more a warning label.

At this point, the Grinch could have filed a complaint with Human Resources. Seuss was just getting started.

Verse two escalates immediately.

“Your heart’s an empty hole

Your brain is full of spiders

You’ve got garlic in your soul

I would not touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.”

Thirty-nine and a half feet. Not ten. Not twenty. This is a man who measured his revulsion and still felt the need to add a half-foot for safety. That is not dislike. That is disgust with a tape measure.

Verse three introduces comparative suffering.

“You have all the tender sweetness

Of a seasick crocodile

Given a choice between the two of you

I would take the seasick crocodile.”

Seasick crocodiles are presumably violent, confused, and vomiting. And yet, somehow preferable. Imagine being told that a nauseated apex predator with motion sickness has better vibes than you.

Verse four is where Seuss starts stacking insults like a Yelp review written by someone who waited forty-five minutes for cold fries.

“Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk

The three words that best describe you are

‘Stink. Stank. Stunk.’”

That is a one-star review with no explanation needed. Unwashed socks are a choice. Gunk is a lifestyle. “Stink, stank, stunk” is not feedback. It is a verdict.

Verse five abandons restraint entirely.

“You’re the king of sinful sots

Your heart’s a dead tomato

Splotched with moldy purple spots

Your soul is an appalling dump heap

Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment

Of deplorable rubbish imaginable

Mangled up in tangled up knots.”

King of sinful sots. That is not even trying to be polite. Dead tomato with moldy purple spots is not an image anyone asked for, yet here we are. And then the dump heap. Overflowing. Mangled. Tangled. This is not an insult. This is an environmental hazard report.

By verse six, Seuss is clearly enjoying himself.

“You nauseate me with a nauseous super ‘naus’

You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich

With arsenic sauce.”

Arsenic sauce. Not implied. Explicit. This is no longer metaphorical disdain. This is culinary homicide.

And the thing is, this song was written for children.

Dr. Seuss did not just insult the Grinch. He dismantled him. Methodically. Cheerfully. In rhyme. Set to music. Sung by a voice that sounds like it could crush a Buick.

No writer living or dead has ever eviscerated a fictional character with this much creativity and joy while still being invited into every living room every December.

Dr. Seuss was not just a storyteller.

He was a savage with a dictionary.

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#communication #jtwb768 #influencers #socialMedia #SocialMarketing #culturalCommentary #adultHumor #humorWriting #lyricalInsults #MrGrinch #holidayCulture #DrSeuss #ChristmasSatire #popCultureAnalysis #classicAnimation

Breaking Blocks, Not Deadlines: A Freelance Writer’s Guide to Minecraft-Fueled Avoidance

https://dreamspacestudio.net/breaking-blocks-not-deadlines-a-freelance-writers-guide-to-minecraft-fueled-avoidance/

Last night, Petey channeled a demon at 2:47 AM. Nelly stared at a wall like it owed her money.
Pretty sure I live with two haunted gremlins.

😼 New story: Are My Cats Possessed?
🕯️ Cat chaos, paranormal vibes, and zero answers.

https://vocal.media/humor/are-my-cats-possessed?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon

#CatPeople #HauntedCats #PeteyAndNelly #MiddleAgedMess #CatChaos #HumorWriting #TesieTellsIt

Finally! a new article is posted at funnybuttrue.substack.com.
Discover how to read someone’s personality in 10 seconds with psychology, humor, and a sprinkle of absurdity. Perfect for awkward first dates, boring parties, and office small talk!

#HumorWriting #PersonalityHacks #PsychologyFun #WittyObservations #SocialSkills #FunnyScience #LifeHacks #HumanBehavior #LaughAndLearn