QT:
This weekend while I was digging my hole in the front yard three women, who had this sort of Mom Network Energy, walked by. I was doing my thing on the hole, stopped and looked up.

My wife, at the fucking curb mind you, was talking with a new neighbor who had been walking his German Shepherd. They both quietly said hi to the three women but not before each, in their own subtle way, looked the three of us up and down before they got within earshot of us.

They ignored the hellos and kept walking.

Later the spousal unit and I were talking and she mentioned them and their clique-ey Mom-0-Sphere energy and that was all it took for me to unload about them being so fucking shitty and I ended my rant by saying they are Mean Girl Cunts!

ahem. 😐
*straightens my dress a little*

And I totally blame Tay for her teaching me in my #HowToGirl lessons that sometimes it's okay, and even necessary, for a woman to call other women a C U Next Tuesday. Am I doing this right, Tay?

From: @tayfonay
https://beige.party/@tayfonay/115328518923680770

CW: transphobia and some random dude calling me a cunt.
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Kind of related to my previous post, I let my foul mood and overall disdain for my current situation get the better of me on another platform and I was not my higher self.

But I learned something that I think can be added to my #HowToGirl list. Sometimes, and especially for trans women, when a puny little incel calls you a "stupid cunt" it's oddly affirming and will have you feeling like you've truly made it into the ranks of womanhood.

Yay me!!!

Okay... one more installment of "How to Girl" before my hormoniversary tomorrow.

If you haven't seen these and wondering what the heck I'm talking about the five year mark of me starting hormone therapy is tomorrow. And I've been reflecting on some things I've learned on this ride.

From my cisters I’ve learned of The Girl Code.  It’s unwritten although entries online would have you believe it is.  It isn’t necessarily handed down but it is.  You know it when you see it. There are some aspects that are vague and others that are as strong as if written on stone tablets.

These are some notable aspects for me.
— Women lift women up.  
We encourage each other and inspire each other.

— Women take care of each other and look out for each other.

— Women don’t let a guy (or for the lebesians… a woman) get in the way of friendships.

These are just a few of the things that I've learned and I find it really affirming and special that I've had other women do some of these things for me.

#HowToGirl

Here's my sixth entry on what I've learned about "How to Girl" as I come up on my five year mark of starting hormone therapy. Just a couple more left.

I’ve learned that acceptance of me as a trans woman (enby identity not withstanding) will sometimes come from the least expected people and refused/pushed back by those I thought would embrace me.  And I’ve learned that can be broadened to the experience of cis women as well, not just trans women. 

I've learned that women are put into a metaphorical box by society and if you don’t fit neatly into it often times you are ridiculed, accused of not "acting like a woman", told you’re too much, not enough, all of the above and that it's really fucking hard to be a woman.

But I've also learned if you’re lucky... some people will truly accept for who you are and lift you up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBqlDWHkdHk

#HowToGirl

Installment five of what I've learned in five years of "How to Girl" as I come closer to marking five years of hormone therapy.

I’ve learned about the patriarchy. That must make me sound inane and incredibly naive. But the best way I can describe it is it's reminiscent of the story from David Foster Wallace’s 2005 commencement speech at Kenyon College about two young fish. 

An older fish swims by and says, "Morning boys. How's the water?" Like those two fish asking themselves a minute later "what the hell is water?", I was so steeped in male privilege that came from a patriarchal society, I didn’t even know I had it.

I've learned there is a sort sisterhood among women that I can't help but think is there as a result of being women in a patriarchal society. And I feel accepted into it.

I've felt an acceptance from women online and in real life. I've had women young and old give me this sort of "knowing look" that says "I see you, sister." I've had women trust me with their stories and share their intimate experiences, fears, struggles and triumphs... as women with me, another woman. As I've had this bond with women get closer, the veil of my prior privilege slides away. And I've been able to see how patriarchy oppresses not only women but men, as well.

I hope I can right the wrongs I’ve done when I was living as a boy and man.  I hope I can do things that further the cause of equality for all of us.  And I hope to further true my moral compass along the way.

#HowToGirl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY

So I guess this is my fourth installment of "How to Girl". These are posts on what I've learned navigating the world as a woman as I come up on five years of cross sex hormone therapy.

What I've learned during transitioning from men. From a LOT of cisgender, heterosexual men I've learned that a LOT of cis, hetero men are attracted to trans women despite a LOT of cis men's public opinion to the contrary about girls like me.

I've seen in public comment sections hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of comments on one trans woman's post. They will range from heart-eye and fire emojis to "you're beautiful" "marry me" replies to being gross and asking if she still has her pee pee to I want to ___________. Fill in that blank with the freakiest sex act you can think of, then add to that; in the woods, on a subway car, in a dog's kennel, in a display window in Amsterdam, etc.

And look I'm not here to shame anyone's freaky deaky they fantasize about or even actually do. That's not what this is about. It's not my jam but you do you, babe. No, this is about the fact that what I've learned and seen is that a LOT of cis, hetero men *are indeed* sexually attracted to trans women for a variety of reasons.

But the thing is society as a whole makes men feel ashamed for it. They don't speak up in our defense to their bros. They don't speak out against attacks from our governments. And all that shame and secrecy?... that sucks for both men and trans women.

#HowToGirl

p.s. Oh. And cis women?... now some cis women *love* trans girls. If they're gay or bisegzual they have no problem telling a trans woman she's attracted to her. Even straight girls who are confident in their sexuality will occasionally flirt with trans girls and give compliments but that's for another post... probably more about the Sisterhood of Women.