I don't wanna see normal #porn.
I don't wanna write normal #erotica.
I wanna make #FUCKART!
I wanna see people sticking their #butts through holes in walls so guys can get in lines to give anonymous #dick to anonymous holes!
I wanna see male/female couples get a #BodySwap so they can learn what it's like to have #sex with each other, staying that way for a while while they #fuck strangers at nightclubs, then staying that way through a pregnancy so they husband can have a turn!
I want to see Twilight Sparkle, deciding she wants a foal but can't see herself dating, setting up a #mounting-line so every stallion in her favorite town of Ponyville can have a chance at fathering her child!
I wanna see #furries engaging in #vore-play where one ties a rope around themselves and the other swallows them and pulls them out before they digest so they can swallow them again!
I wanna see extreme #fetish in full glory!
#FURVERTS OF THE WORLD, I WANT TO BRING YOU THE FUCK!!
I'm gonna keep kicking this down another 24 hours until I'm ready to deal with it. In the meantime... Hey! #Polls are fun! Don't you want to vote in a #poll? This only has 23 votes last I checked. Let's see if we can get a few more!
Remember, I will write some erotica based on whatever the result is! (Prolly gonna have some mild #vore-play in there too, considering the potential partners...)
Anyway, #furverts, go vote on that poll!
24 HOURS REMAIN.
Hemipenises have the clear lead, while Turtledick has zero votes, but so far, my personal favorite, the croc-cocks, are making a good showing! All you #scalies out there, hope you're as excited as I am!
As I planned to do (but apparently didn't do quick enough), I'm extending the PolePoll so more #furries will have time to react to it and tell us their favorite #penis morphology is for a #scalie #sex partner, and so I'll have time to write some rant about #cocks when it's over. Also, going to work on some #sexy #horse #furry #erotica #furryporn for the last one, it's at least underway by the time this one ends.
Alright Furry-Fediverse, time to see how #horny you can make me with #furryporn.
Link me your favorite examples of #vaginal pleasuring from a hot #furry. I'm talking #yiff pics for the ladies in heat, my fellow #furverts! #straight #lesbian #cunnilingus #vibrator #masturbation ...Whatever!
Gimme somethin' ta raise my tail for! Let's get some #RaisedTails right here! GIMME DAT #MASTOBATION MATERIAL!
My fellow #furverts, we stand at the moment every political advisor dreads: the morning after.
The votes have been cast and counted, and with the dust settling around the barnyard, one of our hooved candidates stands victorious, long cock, hard and throbbing, glistening in the morning light, ready to sink its medial ring into all of you eager mares out there...
#HORSECOCK HAS WON THE #POLEPOLL.
Yes, Horsecock. Long, thick, meaty, flared head and medial ring, has been selected as the next big thing in #dicks, and those dicks are BIG. Are you ready to take one? I know I am, because this means I have to write a demonstration story... and golly, I cannot wait.
ROUND 3 COMING SOON.
The pole poll is over.
With 63 #furverts reporting in, leaving us 6 short of perfection, the results are in. It was a close one, and it wasn't clear how things would turn out, with furries threatening to riot on both sides, but at the end, when the dust settled and the votes were counted...
Knotted #cocks stood proudly erect above them all, every single #knot throbbing, as they locked themselves firmly into victory with a tightly clenching 49% of the vote.
It seems we have ourselves an objective answer: KNOTTED COCKS ARE GREAT COCKS FOR #YIFF!
Thanks to everyone who participated in, favorited, and boosted this poll about #furry poles. This is a proud moment for #YiffLife, and it couldn't have been achieved without you: the world solutes your hard work.
May the gods of #horny bless you forever in your endless #mastobation...
...ROUND 2 BEGINS TOMORROW.
Jonathan Matthews
Nuki's Old Account