Yer Metal Is Olde: Illwill â Evilution
By Dr. A.N. Grier
In a recent discussion in the AMG halls, we shared some of the most obscure shit we have buried in our hard drives, burned to a CD, or kept hidden from the massesâhidden because we adore it too much to share or feel much shame. In this case, itâs the former. So, in an attempt to help the idiots on staff (and in the comments) who think an album ten years ago is iconic, Iâll share a gem you would be an idiot to ignore. While this piece could easily be a 90âs Weirdness bit, I am not here to shame the band members for making it. Evilution is the sole LP from quasi-supergroup Illwill. This odd band consisted of King Diamond and Mercyful Fate greats Andy LaRocque, Sharlee DâAngelo, and Snowy Shaw. While itâs common for these lads to form, join, or guest in many projects over the years, this might be one of the strangest collaborations in their storied careers.
Formed as a thrash band in 1997, Illwill puts a boot to the genre, each kick aiming for a different part of the body. The first kick is to the head from little-known vocalist Jonas Dahlström. This is odd because, at the time, Dahlström was the vocalist for Desert Plains, a Judas Priest cover band. While that would be odd enough for a thrash album, he goes apeshit on his approach to the music of Evilution, combining Judas Priest, Gwar, and other ungodly insanity. The second kick is to the balls by Snowy Shaw. When this dude is at the helm of any project, you know itâs gonna be fucking weird. And thereâs absolutely no shortage of weirdness on Evilution. Even mentioning another thrash band as an influence would be a mistake. The last kick is to the throat. The lyrics alternate between tongue-in-cheek absurdity and downright hilarious to offensive-as-fuck and disgusting. So, stop reading if youâre easily offended by things that wonât hurt you.
You donât have to wait long to hear Dahlströmâs vocal approach as he counts down opener âSingh Haiâ inappropriately. Beyond his vocals, youâll notice the piercing guitar tone and drum master1 as we explore the songâs torture story. As the thrashy licks change and evolve, the vocals become more chaotic, spewing obscenities and absurdities to the bitter end. If you somehow made it through the opener, it doesnât get any easier from here. In a few minutes, youâll stumble over âSix Sec Sex.â If you want to continue having good sex, donât wander into the lyric sheets for this one. The song is even more disturbing with the staccato vocal approach thatâll burn those three words in your skull for decades to cum. A little later, youâll collide with the droner known as âBid Farewell to Welfare.â With its long sustains and dissonant chords, Dahlström warbles on about welfare and some shit, while Shawâs odd drum work fucks with your mind.
Between all this chaos, there are some remarkably badass songs. These include the âWhether With or Without,â âWho to Trust?,â and â365 Reasons to Commit Suicide.â The first is a thrashy three-minute piece combining solid riffage and a punchy chorus. Next to â365 Reasons to Commit Suicide,â this song has the most memorable chorus on the discâone youâll use when yelling at small children. â365 Reasons to Commit Suicideâ is not only the most addictive song but also one of my top ten favorite thrash songs ever. Its approach is similar to âWhether With or Without,â but the riffs are meatier, and the intensity cuts deep. On the other side of the coin, âWho to Trust?â is a stellar piece consisting of an Iron Maiden-esque attitude that lets DâAngelo explore his inner Steve Harris.
Even with all this absurdity, there are moments when Dahlström can use his pipes. These moments come in the form of the back-to-back âEternal Sleepâ and âK.A.O.S.â âEternal Sleepâ kicks off with a punishing march, and DâAngelo bass leads to guide us to the soaring, melodic Judas Priest chorus. âK.A.O.S.,â on the other hand, rips out your butthole with an opening trash lick that transitions to a similar death march as âEternal Sleep.â But the melody shines when the vocals dress in a tuxedo. Though not as pleasing as the track before, the songâs internal beauty-and-the-beast struggle is wholly worth it.
If you can make it through fifty-plus minutes of this bizarreness, youâll find a lot of hidden treasures. As always, Shaw puts on one hell of a performance behind the kit, fucking around where he wants and adding heft to the heavier material on the album. Though King Diamond isnât exactly fast and hard, LaRocque ainât afraid to be. Weâve seen that on Deathâs Individual Thought Patterns and now again on Evilution. In particular, his blisteringly-fast performance on â365 Reasons to Commit Suicideâ is delicious. Throughout the album, youâll also find DâAngeloâs bass rising to the surface, toying around with clever licks and adding unsettling atmospheres to some of the odder tracks. Iâve never heard Dahlström on anything else but Evilution. I can only imagine his voice can carry many Judas Priest tracks. But he doesnât give a shit here. I guarantee most of you will hate his voice on Evilution, but I wouldnât change it for the world.
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