This week is the first time I've had the house to myself in years. What am I supposed to do with all this free time I'm no longer spending turning lights and ceiling fans off?

#dadproblems

I bought #Astroneer and can't play. Can't move, it's very unnatural controls after minecraft, always disabling random things on desktop and move items in game instead of walking around.
#dadProblems as #dadJokes
If i could pay for stuff with disembodied barbie hands I'd be loaded. #DadProblems.

I think I have to take Zofran before water slides….

#DadProblems

just watched 12 ANGRY MEN for the first time. predictable and wonderful—an unexpectedly stirring defense of humility and democracy. afterward, talked briefly w/my son about the postwar liberal consensus. another day, another hopefully-not-a-lecture. #dadproblems #waxflix

When you go to clean your car for selling it, you realise just what a swirling vortex of entropy, filth and destruction your kids truly are...

#parenting #motoring #cleaning #cars #filth #dadproblems #ihatesanditscoarseandroughandiritatinganditgetseverywhere

I went on a Starbucks run earlier. In the brief time I was out, the TV lost wifi connection while not in use and the dishwasher started leaking.

#DadProblems

I tend to lose things that I haven't developed a habit of using/storing etc. I inherited airpods last Christmas when the kids got new ones.. and quickly forgot about them somewhere. Last night I discovered them in a backpack. Yay. Now how do I work these things again?
#DadPods #DadProblems #Old #Tech

Hello, friends.

I'm trying to persuade my 14 year-old daughter that I am not a hopelessly antiquated social malcontent, who should have no other role in life than driving her from place to place, while turning over the Apple CarPlay controls to her superior tastes.

Can you please boost and help me get to 9,999,999 followers?

#DadProblems