Mastodawn

My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.

I’m really angry someone nicked one of my Mr. Men books.

That’s it, no more Mr. Nice guy.

Why was Cinderella not on any sports teams?

Because she always ran away from the ball.

I had a Ford Fiesta but I put some Adderall in the gas tank.

Now it’s a Ford Focus!

You planet.

It reads “Small medium at large.”

Ground beef.

My uncle said he use to live in a house haunted by the ghost of a dessert chef

He said he really gave him the crepes !

The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, "This changes everything"

Pythagoras walks into a bar and says, “Which one is the hypotenuse?”

The barman says “y, the long face.”