Mastodawn

Oh man, this stuff is everywhere
#DadJokes

The best part of an induction stove is great cooking. The second best part is induction jokes your family hates. #dadjokes

That must be one hell of a chicken...

https://lemmy.world/post/48006975

I was accused of making a mountain out of a mole hill

I realized then maybe I used a little to much dirt.

Did you hear about the version of Sleeping Beauty where she had fully separated claws on her feet. Totally comma-toes!

I asked my wife for lunch

https://lemmy.world/post/47995687

She asked if I’d eat yesterday’s leftovers. I said yes. She told me to come back tomorrow.

I never mention how much I hate listening to music on the lake.

I don’t want to rock the boat.

Last night my wife was mumbling how she was born in 1892 and wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings....

I knew she was Tolkien in her sleep

How would you rate your pain?

https://lemmy.world/post/47991973

My dad always says, “Don’t spend too much money on expensive headphones.”

That’s sound advice.