Mastodawn

Why was the cell phone wearing glasses?

It lost its contacts

I've been checking out my ceiling a LOT lately, for some unknown reason.... Anyway, I think it's rather well made.

I mean, it's no Sisteen Chapel, but it's up there.
#DadJokes4Days

The shaker of Italian Seasoning exploded in my face when I tried to open it.

So now I'm parsley blind in one eye.
#DadJokes4Days

The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors:

1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
#DadJokes4Days

Q: How does one get an astronaut to rest?
A: You Rocket to sleep.
#DadJokes4Days

Q: What do you call fights among famous entertainers?

My longtime Romanian friend, Sylvan, got back in touch with me; as it turns out, he was, and now physically is, a she.

So now I call her Transylvania.
#DadJokes4Days

My wife is worried for her dad's family in this time. I told her her uncle's super protected.

Because his wife has aunty bodies.
#DadJokes4Days

When I stumbled in Paris