I had a weird experience the other night. I was talking with a few friends on the kitchen floor about intersectionality. I offhandedly said something like: "For example, I have male privilege, even though there is so much discomfort around that for me".

Someone then laughed and said, "Wait, you have what?!"

It was always a "fact" I thought about myself but I apparently hadn't thought about it properly since publicly coming out? Historically, sure, but now my name is ambiguous, my dress styles lean toward "feminine", and I don't even know how much my voice ever suggested "masculinity". (Ugh, I hate using those terms.)

Have I lost my male privilege?! That could be bad for safety reasons, but it's very affirming so I take it as a win.

#AmblyPics

For the record, this is what I was wearing. (I got the dress at an op-shop that day for $15!) (CW for eye contact):

Mardi Gras season was great! I went to three (3) dance parties, spent maybe 21 hours all up at protests (eighteen were at a sit-in), got to see a lot of friends, and only attended one (1) official Mardi Gras event (at the Art Gallery, which was oddly far too crowded and loud for me).

Attached are a few pics from the final weekend (with eye contact).

I had a good time, got to try out a few new styles, and I think I struck a good balance between enjoying myself and doing good things for community.

There is a lingering feeling of guilt at the back of my mind whenever I go out and have fun when terrible things are happening I should be actively mad about. But I remember just existing as a queer person is revolutionary so intentionally being a weird gender freak in public is doing the community a service!

#AmblyPics #TransJoy

So I've been shaving my face and chest pretty much daily, wearing at least basic makeup pretty much whenever I leave the house, I've recently gotten into wearing dresses (after so long being uncomfortable about them) and gloves(!) and pretty much anything with lace, I'm recognising my body moving different (my walk, gestures and posture), and I'm interacting with others much more compassionately.

#Theminising HormoneTherapy has been great!

Completely unrelated: I keep hearing about people misgendering me as "she" instead of "they"?! =P

It's absolutely never malicious; I've been changing in ways that follow a particular script so it's easy to make the assumption that I'm a trans woman. (Some of these people weren't told my pronouns, and I just realised I don't actually have my pronouns in my instagram bio as a reminder, so perhaps everyone is off the hook.)

I wonder if some of this is people having trouble breaking out of binary thinking rather than just trying to be respectful?

There are a lot of ways to express myself right now that feel new and exciting and enjoyable, and were less possible to play with before HRT so I'm turning all the dials up at once. Most of them just happen to be traditionally feminine.

(Picture is of my dancing outfit from Friday night.)

But I've also become more interested in exploring and trying to better understand positive masculinity. It's wild that I essentially had to switch my hormone profile in order to even consider that type of exploration, let alone enthusiastically welcome it.

My styles keep changing rapidly. Maybe I'll have a drag king persona 6 months from now.

#AmblyPics

Cassie took me out for a picnic date last night! It was great!

A surprise ferry trip to a park I hadn't known about before, and fun food and drink. And the night was so nice.

But one of the best parts was that cassie took a photo of me that I really like.

What's the word for "hashtag gender goals" when it's a picture of yourself?

#AmblyPics

I just realised today marks 6 months since I started #HRT!

To celebrate, here's an outfit I put together for a dance thing tomorrow. (The dress code is: "Command your space - sexy, sultry & confident".)

#AmblyPics #TheminisingHormoneTherapy

Being back home and on leave means I have time to try new outfits in preparation for hashtag hot girl summer.

Today's outfit incorporates a lot of where I think my style is going: light, pastel colours, loud patterns and, where appropriate, open, loose fitting shirts.

It feels so good to be somewhere I can comfortably play around with styles again. (And often get very positive feedback for them.)

#AmblyPics #TransJoy

I have this problem where whenever I plan to go to some dance party I feel the need to make a significant part of my outfit. It's a chance to be creative, but I perhaps plan too big when the things I dream up, and the materials involved, are often completely new to me.

But by the powers of autism and ADHD I make it, even if that means I neglect everything else in my life for a week or so.

This party was an underwear party. That meant I had an excuse to make a fancy bra!! And a few matching accessories to go with it of course.

One thing on my mind during the whole process, as I wouldn't be able to decide until the outfit was ready to try on and see, was whether I wanted to keep or shave my chest hair; a choice heavily influencing the overall style, with potentially different gender feels.

I wanted to keep it because of gender fuckery reasons and not wanting to give in to (boring) aesthetic ideals when I could do something more interesting instead, so I was glad that I liked the look once it all came together.

I really love this outfit, and it feels good to wear. The collar ads a fun but formal element with minimal material, the shawl(?) thing(?) turned out great and is comfy, and the bra looks so perfect (it's hard to go wrong with lace) and came out exactly as I had imagined.

Edit: More pictures in the reply post.

Edit 2: @amelioratrix informs me that the shawl thing is called a "peignoir".

#AmblyPics #AmblyArt #TransArtist #TransJoy

I'm not great at taking good selfies because I can't smile realistically on cue. (Because of the autism?)

And when I construct an elaborate outfit to go out in I tend not to remember to get someone to take pictures.

But last night I went dancing and a friend took this video of me smiling and having fun and effortlessly powering through the pain of dancing for hours in heels and a corset, euphoric from experiencing a live performance by someone who exudes what I would simply describe as 'style goals', and seeing the video makes me feel ... 'supported'? And 'Affirmed'?

But also 'seen', like a blurry wilderness home video that somehow managed to capture an elusive cryptid because it hasn't yet caught on that it is being perceived.

#Trans #TransJoy #NonBinary #AmblyPics

Completed my outfit for Unicorns.

The scale pauldron (someone told me what it was called) came out amazing, and was very comfortable to wear and dance in.

Because I had armor, I needed a "weapon" to go with it, so I made a quick scabbard out of toilet paper rolls and fake leather and put some native flowers in it.

I had a number of items of clothes and other accessories, many of which came to me via friends. You could read this as a metaphor for all the support I have received culminating into this peak example of great style and being comfortable showing others who I feel on the inside. the quintessential trans story.

Or, you know, everything just looked cool together so I wore it =P

#Trans #NonBinary #TheyThem #TransJoy #AmblyPics