assless jorts

39 Followers
11 Following
470 Posts

Ornamental lawn hate account.

they/them

PACKIJJ. Tantrum averted!
This is after it not arriving yesterday with a "no one was in uwu" note. And yet, I was in.
I have waited semi-patiently for my packages for 3.5 hours. In another hour I am allowed a choice of Treat or Tantrum.

My cat, lounging across the podium at the press conference, licking the last bits of a butterfly off her claws:

"Murder? I wouldn't know what you're talking about, darling"

Here's another tip! If a member of staff in a supermarket says "Excuse me, that's there to stop you doing that!" the response of "Well I'll only be a minute" is Incorrect! The words you are looking for are "Sorry!" and "I'll go away now!" Hope this helps
The results of my bone scan are in! My bones are not very dense, it turns out, so I have been diagnosed Bird and prescribed Cheese.
like dude ... the water is on the outside of the fridge ... open the fridge and look for what exactly?? this happened 2 days ago and i'm still completely baffled

Customer asks me why the fridges are misting up, because he's somehow never seen that before. I explain that it's just condensation, it's a very wet day, the air is humid, it's hitting a cold fridge and the water is condensing out. The response ... "Well open them up and have a look!"

I ... what ... dude that's not ... this response broke my brain and I just looked at him until he walked off.

There are many things I could post here as "stupid things customers have done" but one particular one makes me fucking angry, which is when at xmas, I had my back turned because I was filling a fridge, and some ghastly old woman decides to get my attention by *touching my waist* and position her trolley in such a way that I couldn't just walk off. If I ever have to do another xmas in a supermarket, I'm working nights for that week, I'm not doing it with customers there.
Here's a tip, Tesco customers - if you have to lean and stretch quite far to reach an item, because there's a big yellow barrier saying "do not enter" on it and a colleague staring at you with a "really?" kind of expression between you and it ... The item isn't for you right now! Try again later!