assless jortsWe, the Shrew Community, against which so many of your crimes have been committed, sentence you, The Lady Toasted Poppy Seed Bagel, to being indoors each night after dark.
*gasps from the gallery, my cat's lawyer faints*
My cat, lounging across the podium at the press conference, licking the last bits of a butterfly off her claws:
"Murder? I wouldn't know what you're talking about, darling"