I can't show my face on my OnlyFans because I don't want my coworkers to recognize me, but I also can't show my boobs because they've already seen those too.

Don’t mind me, I'm just over here being an absolute brat on Bluesky.

I just ordered curly fries and a milkshake because reckless calorie intake is one of the few joys left to me as an adult human.

If you’re going to interview Donald Trump, you had better be prepared to fact check him in real time. Our media does a terrible job of allowing him to spew falsehoods and spread conspiracies without calling him out on them. This is not the time to platform Trump like he is some regular politician. He is an existential threat to our democracy, including to institutions such as the free press. Do better.

You don't have to tell me twice because I don't listen either time.

I love Halloween! It's the one time of year that I'm allowed to scare children. All the other times people get upset.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that was a vase...
would you mind if I kept it until I've finished my drink?

I respect how pistachios make you do a little bit of work