Gisele Pelicot on the cover of German Vogue - what a strong statement about how shame must change sides.

Since Trump won the election I’ve noticed an increase in misogyny and patriarchal bullying.

Men saying we belong in the kitchen, “your body my choice”, shaming childless and unmarried women and making all kinds of remarks about physical appearance and life choices.

You can’t speak out about rape culture, patriarchy, abortion rights or violence against women without getting slammed by men telling you that we need to go back to more “traditional values”. It’s deeply concerning.

These men don’t care about values - traditional or otherwise. They care about control. They see us as property -and want us to be demure and willing to capitulate to them in all aspects of life.

They want to control not just our reproductive rights - but everything we do. They want us to come second.

Whenever I get upset about the direction we seem to be headed in - I think about Ms Pelicot and the brave stand she’s taking.

Here’s a woman who believed she was in a loving and safe marriage for fifty years - only to find out her husband was recruiting men to assault her while she was unconscious.

I can’t even wrap my head around what she’s going through - or how difficult it would be to heal from that betrayal.

She could have opted for privacy. It was her legal right. She could have avoided seeing hours and hours of video of strangers violating her in the worst possible way.

She CHOSE to make it public so that shame could change sides. She wanted to show the world that it’s the men who should feel ashamed - not the victim.

She wanted to make sure victims know that it’s not their fault. What they were wearing, drinking, doing (or not doing) is irrelevant. No one deserves to be assaulted.

We keep hearing “not all men” … but the Pelicot trial is a perfect example of how it’s TOO MANY MEN.

It’s WHY women are afraid. It’s why we’re distrustful. It’s why we bristle when men say they want us to return to “traditional values”.

Some of the men on trial are actually trying to argue it wasn’t rape because the husband could consent for the wife. I’m sorry but screw that.

You don’t get access to our bodies without our express and ongoing consent. Period.

Speak out against these vile acts. Teach young men and boys to respect women and not to feel entitled to our attention, our bodies or our love.

Say her name. Condemn those who take part in harming others. Consider whether you’re perpetuating misogynistic behaviour with the way you engage with the opposite sex.

Shame must change sides.

#giselepelicot #metoo #notallmen #rapeculture #patriarchy #misogyny