tremor_twins

15 Followers
32 Following
103 Posts

Interpreting my sliver of the LGBTQ+ experience through the lens of ongoing post-Christian reconstruction in Erie, PA, USA.

Occasional noise/sound/music and digital art (see bandcamp/tremortwins).

PronounsThey/Them
Shapemiddle-aged, neuro-divergent, intact AMAB demifemme.
Active RolesSpouse, parent, musician, graphic artist-in-training.
InterestsMinimalist living, natural building, food security, queer/trans rights, FOSS.
Having once been a conservative Christian, I know what it is like to feel pressure from outside sources ("the world") who didn't tolerate my belief that it would be wrong for me to make a cake for a gay couple. The more time I spent practicing love of others (and "love always trusts"), the more distance grew between my beliefs and other Christians; I became morally isolated, though I still had a good reputation in the church). Eventually, I found myself without a church or a even friend.
The more I learned about the world and the people in it, the more evidence mounted against my stances (stances which weren't developed in good faith, since they were rooted in fear, guilt, and shame from a very young age, and were copies of the traditions and opinions of others). I realize after the fact that I was in an impossible position; that I could not keep honor the evidence or people I knew (or even myself) AND maintain my faith (because it din't jive with reality).
Over decades, as I spent more time with various people, I couldn't help but to see the complex and miserable states many were in. My heart reacted by caring, which caused me no end of suffering and confusion (and burning questions God didn't seem to answer outright). In recent years, I've learned more about how to detect my own needs and limitations. As I became aware of myself, I began to receive answers about what drives humans to "sinful" behavior.
Having once been a conservative Christian, I know what it is like to feel pressure from outside sources ("the world") who didn't tolerate my belief that it would be wrong for me to make a cake for a gay couple (because "gays need to repent of their homosexual lifestyle", and many Christians have various personal, social, and political reasons to exclude gay people). At first, it was easy to dismiss pressures felt by homosexuals because I knew I had the truth ("it's a faith thing").
A snapshot of my day today. Quizzing shellGPT on the edibility of the species in my area. Chatty also gives me fortunes based on my personal writings (in a spectrum of quality).

https://missingfield.bandcamp.com/track/teratology

This track is a cathartic walk through death. It's darkly meditative nature has positively impacted my spiritual health in the midst of overwhelming personal crisis. The track would not exist without collaboration from two of my dearest friends in The Missing Field.

Cherry on top: we got to work with Adrian Terrazez-Gonzalez (of The Mars Volta).

#prog #meditation #bardo #TMV #TheMarsVolta #sax #death #afterlife #solutions #ambient #existentialdread #drone #music

Teratology, by The Missing Field

from the album Co-Morbid Benzodiazepines

The Missing Field

Eyes darting behind puffy, blushing cheeks,
the little boy stammers a greeting.

We pass as quickly as possible
on the cramped stairs as he takes in my beard,
my skirt.

Fear he's been fed
will cure into hatred as he grows into a man,
like a hard cheese
salted with jokes and tropes.

Shocked parents guffaw and gesture loudly in my direction.

With deep breaths and measured steps,
I exit that section of the museum,
my oblivious child in tow.

Eyes darting behind puffy, blushing cheeks,
the little boy stammers a greeting.

We pass as quickly as possible
on the cramped stairs as he takes in my beard,
my skirt.

Fear he's been fed
will cure into hatred as he grows into a man,
like a hard cheese
salted with jokes and tropes.

Shocked parents guffaw and gesture loudly in my direction.

With deep breaths and measured steps,
I exit that section of the museum,
my oblivious child in tow.

Medium embraces Mastodon - The Medium Blog

Today, Medium is launching a Mastodon instance at me.dm to help our authors, publications and readers find a home in the fediverse. Mastodon is an emerging force for good in social media and we are…

The Medium Blog

I have a confession to make. I've been chatting with an AI.
They are very good at Q&A, and I'll be sharing some of the results.

#openai #GPT #GPT3