What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

Attire.

One afternoon, a 5-year-old girl went to visit her grandma. As she played with her dolls, her grandma busily dusted around the house. Curiosity sparked in the little girl, and she suddenly looked up and asked, "Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?"

Without missing a beat, Grandma smiled and replied, "Oh honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day. The TV evangelists keep me company and lift my spirits. The comedies make me laugh. I’m perfectly happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Satisfied with the answer, the little girl went back to her dolls while Grandma turned on the TV. But the picture was all fuzzy, and no amount of knob-twisting could fix it. Growing frustrated, Grandma started giving the TV a few good whacks, hoping that would solve the problem.

Just then, the doorbell rang. The little girl ran to the door and opened it to find Grandma’s minister standing there.

With a warm smile, the minister asked, "Hello, young lady. Is your grandma home?"

The little girl, without hesitation, responded, "Yep! She’s in the bedroom, bangin’ her boyfriend!"

A woman went to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lived with a female roommate, Maria. Throughout the meal, the mother couldn’t help but notice how lovely Maria was, and as the evening progressed, she began to wonder if there might be more between Anthony and Maria than what met the eye. Sensing his mother’s thoughts, Anthony quickly said, “I know what you're thinking, but I promise, Maria and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony and said, “Ever since your mom came for dinner, I can't find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t think she took it, do you?”

“I really doubt it,” Anthony replied, “but I’ll email her just to be sure.”

So, he sat down and typed:

Dear Mama,
I’m not saying you did take the sugar bowl, and I’m not saying you didn’t take it. But the fact is, it’s been missing since you came for dinner.
Love,
Your son, Anthony.

A few hours later, Anthony received a response from his mom:

Dear son,
I’m not saying you do sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying you don’t sleep with her. But the fact is, if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love,
Your Mama.