Very weird experience living a dual life where sometimes youre called the r word for just existing and going about your life and other times youre being interrogated with unflinching eyes as to whether youre truly autistic or if youre just faking it as a quirky trend because girls arent taken seriously
Not to sound cynical but i dont anticipate this will change anytime soon so long as these mindsets keep circulating within society and, by extension, these online niches; i just try to keep to myself while maybe making some friends along the way despite having this sobering understanding in the back of my mind
The reason I bring this up is because in the spaces ive frequented (particularly “nerdier” spaces so to speak) tend to be populated with more of the former purely demographically speaking (also white) and so i feel like there is this mutual understood bubble of autistic acceptance and empathy that i feel exempt from because i am Not That
Now why is this? i mean, again, this demands an interrogation of its own, id argue internalized societal misogyny, obviously ableism, i could go on
Are compelled to or naturally act more vibrant and “”quirkier”/emotional but aren’t taken seriously as autistics (often likened to just being strange or misdiagnosed with other things), but sit in this odd purgatory where they’re palatable enough in that they don’t deviate far from imposed feminine gender norms but are hopelessly doomed to have to prove their autistic-ness to society and our mental healthcare system
I think these are thoughts and rambles that demand their own separate space (if they ever escape my mind) but i think i feel this inclination because autistics amab experience somewhat of a heightened degree of acceptance from others for showing said flatness, because it doesnt deviate far from conventional gendered norms, but for autistics afab (at least raised as female in my case) we are torn between being flat and and being believed that we are autistic (yet with more disdain) or (cont)
And that’s not to say at all that all of my online interactions with mutuals and friends and such have been contrived or so removed from my real self that it feels farcical but its at least enough such that i feel drained, but its also not something i voluntarily do, nor is it something i know how to stop
Irl im very flat and not openly emotive but i think my upbringing as well as my unwilling but necessary adoption of corporatese has made me compelled to embellish my words with emoticons and such and sound much more upbeat and friendly, or just lack a backbone by being overly polite
I think its odd that im scared of unmasking online despite a digital interface having much different social conventions than face-to-face conversation, with some more relaxed at that, i guess the fear of being misunderstood permeates any sort of medium
♠️ I drew a fluffy dwagon for
@[email protected] 🐉🦊 :3c
(she/they) 【
#furry #furryart #sketch #dragon #multi 】
Several Transgender Wolf Girls
