| Web Site | https://NanaimoBeacon.com |
| Our Social Media | https://NanaimoBeacon.com/social |
| Hate Us? | Call our complaint line at 248-434-5508 |
| Editor in Cheek | Nathan Poe |
After six years, we are closing the Nanaimo Beacon.
What started as a few cheap jokes turned into a strange, joyful corner of our community.
Along the way, we raised $3,500 for local causes and hopefully a few eyebrows.
Thanks for being in on it. Even when you weren’t.
❤️
Susan, David, and Kris
City officials are optimistic that at least a few tourists will remember where they just visited.
https://nanaimonewsnow.com/2025/02/11/cruise-traffic-in-nanaimo-scheduled-to-double-in-2025/
With cruise ship traffic set to double, #Nanaimo is bracing for an influx of confused tourists asking where the Starbucks is.
Local officials are scrambling to create more attractions, including a "Genuine Nanaimo Bar Experience" where guests pay $20 to watch someone eat one.
City workshops have restarted for residents to practice their "Oh yes, this is the whole downtown" speech. Meanwhile, pigeons at Maffeo Sutton Park are reportedly "thrilled" about the buffet expansion.
🧵 a thread 👇🏻
In honour of the change, all history courses will now be renamed “Things That Never Happened”
The new policy bans “controversial discussions, inconvenient protests, and opinions that annoy donors,” and aims to foster a learning environment “free of disruption or meaningful debate.”
Students who wish to express ideas must now submit their opinions in triplicate for administrative approval.
VIU has now installed “University-Approved Opinion Zones,” where students may apply for permission to hold thoughts, pending a three-year review.
As well, VIU clarified its commitment to “free speech*” today, with the asterisk leading to a 14-page list of exceptions.
After a record-breaking year for power failures in #Nanaimo, #BCHydro has introduced a new billing tier: "Surprise Outage Premium."
The plan offers no additional service, but does charge customers extra to experience the thrilling unpredictability of underfunded energy infrastructure.
"It's all about excitement," explained a spokesperson. "Why pay for reliable power when you can pay for a new adventure every storm?"
The first wave of #Nanaimo residents participating in the #psilocybin trial have reported “extremely positive” effects, though most were too busy laughing at the shape of their hands to elaborate.
Therapists say at least one participant got stuck in a loop saying, “Duuuude, this is so Harewood.”
Local RCMP are scratching their heads after someone managed to steal an entire boat from a #Nanaimo marina.
“We assumed boats were just floating houses that never moved,” said one officer. “But it turns out, with the right skills, you can take one.”
Police are urging boat owners to lock up their boats and, at the very least, not leave out the keys labeled "boat keys."
