Mastodawn

Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident. “The last thing I want is a flimsy sedan that takes out Mommy and Daddy in the front seat but leaves behind a couple of orphans in the back…” https://theonion.com/conscientious-suv-shopper-just-wants-something-that-wil-1844930331/

Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident

PRESCOTT, AZ—Explaining that she did not have any strong preferences when it came to make or model, area woman Laura Bauer, a conscientious SUV shopper, confirmed Wednesday that she just wanted something that would kill the family in the other car if she got into an accident. “All I’m looking for is a sturdy, reliable vehicle that, in the event of a head-on collision, will completely fucking obliterate both the parents and kids in the car we slam into,” said Bauer, who explained that features such as a sunroof or built-in navigation system were not as important to her as the assurance that came from sitting behind the wheel of a machine that could turn anything else on the road into a fiery, tangled mess of metal and flesh. “I don’t need anything fancy, just a practical, midsize SUV that gets good mileage and will easily slaughter a family of five during a 60-mph crash. The last thing I want is a flimsy sedan that takes out Mommy and Daddy in the front seat but leaves behind a couple of orphans in the back.” At press time, Bauer had reportedly decided to play it safe and add a 100-pound grille guard to the front bumper of the vehicle to ensure it would properly disfigure the other family’s corpses and make them impossible to identify.

The Onion

Loafer 4h ago

J Lam 👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍🎨13h ago

“Most successful people are just walking anxiety disorders harnessed for productivity”

No truer words 🫣

Loafer 9h ago

Sue Stone 17h ago

One Million Rising: Strategic Non-Cooperation to Fight Authoritarianism · No Kings

https://www.mobilize.us/nokings/event/803953/?source=bluesky

One Million Rising: Strategic Non-Cooperation to Fight Authoritarianism · No Kings

Across the country, authoritarian forces are getting bolder and more dangerous. Trump and his allies are not hiding their agenda: mass deportations, rollbacks of civil rights, weaponized courts, and full-scale attacks on our democracy. We don’t have to wait until it’s too late. We can stop this. But it’ll take all of us—not just on single days of mass action, but through sustained organizing in our communities. That’s why this summer, we’re launching One Million Rising—a national effort to train one million people in the strategic logic and practice of non-cooperation, as well as the basics of community organizing and campaign design. This is how we build people power that can’t be ignored. You’re invited to join us—and lead. Let’s build a force bigger than fear and louder than hate. Let’s get ready. Let’s get organized. Let’s stop Trump. **Session 1: The Moment & Your Mission - July 16** Get oriented to making meaning of this moment and the role you can play in coordinated strategic action. **Session 2: How to Make it Happen - July 30** This train-the-trainer session is how we get to one million. Learn not just our strategy, but how you can train others and get them on board. You'll host your first community resistance gathering after this session. **Session 3: What Now? - August 13** You'll be onboarded to basic campaign design and learn how to implement it locally as well as get plugged into our next national campaign work. Your second community resistance gathering will move this action forward. Sign up for all 3 sessions to get the most out of this experience. Watch it live with a friend in person, and get ready now to host your own community resistance gatherings after the second and third sessions. This is how we get to 1 million!

Mobilize

Loafer 9h ago

BlueTeamSherpa

Jun 2

Someone called ChatGPT “Grand Theft Autocorrect” and I laughed way too long at that.

Loafer 11h ago

Lou Plummer 💖1d ago

Whenever I know I'm likely to be surrounded by MAGAts, and I live in a red state, so it happens frequently, I wear this hat and don't break eye contact while they read it.

Loafer 11h ago

Norcal Gma 2 13h ago

I have to confess.
I'm sorry not sorry.
Since the 4th of this month I have been peeling away the layers of despair and feeling some feelings I haven't allowed lately.
I have been reading poetry, baking treats for the people I love, watching baseball, telling bad grandma jokes, listening to music, and enjoying my garden. I even went so far as to allow the music to move me to dance. Summer joins right in. She loves to dance and sing.
I know that I have influence that serves to drag down or lift up the people close to me. I needed a reset.
I still feel a burning desire to do my part to help dig us out of the political mess we are in, but I don't have to give up everything that brings me joy and feeds my soul.
Thank you for understanding.
This double delight rose is outside our front door this morning.
Much love to you all.
#BloomScrolling