To me, the weirdest thing about sports is the giant foam hand you can buy at the games, and it's so big you can crawl into it and enter a world of foam. And there are foam people and foam foods, and everyone warns you not to search for your foam doppelganger because something terrible will happen.

The live-action Disney movies should be remade as animated films, and those should be rebooted as live-action films, and on and on and on until all the characters evolve into crabs.

What are your five favorite animated films, each by a different director?

Good things are coming to me. I am attracting success into my life. I am channeling an abundance mindset. I am sprouting wildflowers from my pores. Human-faced bees are building a hive inside my top hat. Gnarled tadpoles are morphing into eldritch frogs and joining my beast army.

You should consider reading my books if you like: gothic fiction, architectural horror, folk horror, weird families, monsters, capybaras, homunculi, labyrinthine hallways, abandoned amusement parks, bizarre magic, body horror, animatronics, cults.

Please hire me to be your town sorcerer. I can't summon the aurora borealis but I can smear green slime against townspeople's windows when they look outside. I can fill in doughnuts with doughnut holes. I can point enthusiastically at birds and misidentify what species they are.

I asked the hot dog man why he squirms through the walls to get from place to place, when he could move from room to room out in the open. Apparently, he enjoys the feeling of squirming around. Also, he keeps whole roasted chickens in the walls Castlevania-style for when he needs a snack.

I find it interesting that the hot dog man squirts mustard from his eyes when he's frightened and ketchup from his eyes when he's angry. Nature is amazing.