https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/phishing-scammer-or-one-of-your-parents

Some of the gems...

They reply to your latest Instagram post with “Get in touch.”
Parent. Scammers aren’t quite so blunt.

They try to add you on Facebook even though you don’t have any friends in common.
Parent. You don’t have any friends in common.

They send you a zip file containing forty-five photos of their recent trip to Portugal.
Scammer. Parents send way more photos than that.

They want to know your bank-account balance.
Parent. They want to make sure you’re doing O.K., financially.

Their e-mail contains weird attachments.
Parent. They want you to help them sign a PDF, even though there’s no way you can do that for them.

Their e-mail contains the hyperlinked phrase “You WON’T believe what you SEE.”
Parent. They want you to watch a ted talk on the importance of sleep.

Their e-mail mentions people you’ve never heard of as if you know them intimately.
Parent. You really do have a third cousin named Rhoda.

They leave an alarmist voice mail reminding you that you owe back taxes to the I.R.S.
Parent. You really do owe back taxes to the I.R.S.

Their e-mail’s subject line just says “URGENT” in all caps.
Parent. Something about a PDF again.

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