Ok, just to sum it up for those following along at home:
NordVPN: confidence scam, the Raid: Shadow Legends of VPNs
Surfshark: owned by NordVPN
Mozilla VPN: reseller of Mullvad
Tailscale: partners with Mullvad
ExpressVPN: Israeli
Private Internet Access: ditto
ZenMate VPN: ditto
CyberGhost VPN: ditto
Windscribe: edgy branding, transphobic, uses slurs on social media
ProtonVPN: sponsors French fascists
MullvadVPN: donates millions to Swedish fascists

am I missing any?

e: if you are here looking for ones you SHOULD use, these were recommended to me and seem to check out:
https://vpn.ccrypto.org
https://njal.la
or self-host your own:
https://amnezia.org/self-hosted

I was thinking “who's my favorite Mac developer?” @danielpunkass and Rich Siegel are top choices, but @agiletortoise @mjtsai and @tylerhall and Paul Kim (Noodlesoft) are all up there, and I've had so many great interactions with so many developers that I can't list them all, and certainly can't pick a favorite.

Everyone should appreciate the indie Mac (and iOS) community. It's a really solid group of friendly devs with great ideas. As much as Apple keeps disappointing me recently, I currently couldn't imagine developing for another platform.