Here it is. The first crappy page of my first crappy draft, typed on ancient keys that I have no business touching.

At least it's Mothman Approved™.

Onward.

FOOLS!

Why have you overlooked Dale Gribble as the instance's mascot?

Finally put a sticker on this thing. It's an old Chromebook that's miraculously running Linux.*

*Miraculous because:
1. It's really old. Like, obsolete when I got it old.
2. I had never even seen Linux before attempting this project.
3. I had no idea what I was doing.
4. It sometimes had difficulty running stock ChromeOS. GalliumOS runs like a dream.

Hi. It's me, the Flatwoods Monster. I bet you fell for my pretending-to-be-human trick. I know, I know, but it gets 'em every time.

So, you found it. The official online presence of the Flatwoods Monster.