Kid's playing a video game as a spider character.

I look carefully at the spider model. It only has six legs.

Hey, kid, I say. That spider is missing legs. That's not a spider. You should file a bug report.

I miss those bottles of Modelo Especial which bore the inscriptions

DRINK SENSIBLY CONTAINS MALTED BARLEY

and

BEST BEFORE SEE BOTTOM

it lives!  JVM in Bash

for now it only has ~5 opcodes implemented, and one virtual method (println). So this is literally the minimal amount of Stuff to get a hello world working

next up, conditionals?

"Ah yes, see, computers are made up of lots of parts, but the most important one is the GPU, the General Processing Unit, which often shares memory with the CPU, the Control-Flow Processing Unit—"

#misinformation