I couldn't get into girlmode for most of the last week because of travel, so today I went all out. Standing here and looking in the mirror I see a lot I don't like but I can't stop smiling. Eyes scrunched almost shut and all my teeth showing big ol' grins that I couldn't keep off my face even if I wanted to. Shuffling around and playing with the hem of my shirt. I like Katie. She's alright.
Kate-ay
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Trans woman who is still in the closet but pondering what I want from life. Recently came out to my wife and we're working through that.
Alice Averlong🏳️⚧️I'm 19 months into unemployment due to illness, and I just got a letter that my earlier payment for storage didn't go through, and I have until the 1st to pay 2000$ or they're auctioning off my storage, which has 12 years of games & retrotech.
Any help you can spare would be amazing.
https://ko-fi.com/fooneturing/goal?g=0
Gwen the Trans BalrogThere are plenty of problems a cute pair of panties won't solve, but I put some on anyway just to be safe.
It's wonderful to read others experiences that mirror mine exactly. The not _feeling_ like a woman all the time bothered me in the past because I assumed trans women were supposed to.
I've described doing girly things like using makeup to my wife as calming, comforting, right... Every day I come home and get into girlmode because it feels right, not exciting anymore just what I should be doing. It's not enough though, I want to be myself even more.
esc key
RE: https://chaosfem.tw/@eleanor/116297310075437510
Last week I was told how self-centered trans people are, not thinking about how it affects others. Especially the partners of trans people. I just..... then I.......
I don't know what to do. If I transition my job would become unsafe and I'd have to leave it. I'd also lose most of my retirement because I don't vest for a few more years . I'd also lose student loan forgiveness. I turn 40 soon. My relationship would end but I wouldn't be out on the street. My mental health is already shit and I don't know if I could get a good paying job elsewhere. So how the hell would I pay for transition? How can I choose to impoverish myself?
Dysphoria is pretty strong today and it's such a sickeningly sweet feeling. An amalgam of longing, wrongness, rightness, disgust, and even some happiness from knowing that I am, without a doubt, a woman. Hating my body is better than feeling nothing and doubt creeping into my mind. That probably makes no sense.