COLUMBO: the criterion collection, huh... sounds interesting. not for me, though. i usually just watch the game.
ME: *smiling serenely*
COLUMBO: my WIFE however.... my wife loves, what do you call him. Yasujirō Ozu. cant get enough of "Floating Weeds." SHE tells me barnes and nobles has this big sale where you can get t-
ME: god damn it this isnt fair