Where do I begin?

I want the other shirt that Tessa Thompson wears in Sorry to Bother you not the one everyone is all stoked about.

Twitter: no one bragging about having an cloaca
Mastodon: everyone bragging about having an cloaca for some reason.

I’ve had an ambiguous itch inside of my left leg for over 12 hours and I am going to scream because I can’t scratch it.

This couple sitting next to me at this restaurant is seriously weird. The dude is like your stereotypical beefcake and his girlfriend only whispers to him, inaudible to everyone else.

I’m gonna take the light rail to go see a movie and eat falafel and I will not be wearing makeup.