@woozle @bee @diddledani I think I personally would still pursue transition, though perhaps it would be a good thing for some people to address dysphoria or confusion without transitioning. It would be nice to have more choices I suppose, if we are assuming a society that allows them all without gatekeeping. If I had taken a pill to ease dysphoria, it would probably have helped me transition easier or allowed me to avoid the decision for longer, but I still think I'd've done it eventually.

My journey to this point has been influenced heavily by play, social experimentation, and queer culture. I certainly discovered through that play that I am happier and more completely 'me' in transition. But it always felt like a choice; I could have lived with the levels of dysphoria I felt then, just not thrived. For me I think that choice is based on values of truth that are central to my personal self-understanding: specifically that my 'gut feelings', emotions, and intuitive revelations ('aha moments') reflect sometimes surprising aspects of truth that deserve careful and thorough investigation, even if they are very uncomfortable or unpopular. That may not be other people's reality or relationship to their truth, so I could see why they might choose to work through 'confusion' another way.

@tillybridges I totally agree that we should treat people's self-identifications with respect and encouragement, when they are expressed in good faith, good feeling, and even playfulness. Without a sense of experimentation and play around expression and identity (like through cross-dressing, good-natured humor, role-playing, kink, and drag), I may still be in the closet. I caught a lot of flak in my community for playing and greying the gender space by doing things like wearing feminine clothing while still identifying as straight and cis; that gatekeeping took a long time to overcome, and ultimately I had to seek that validation by sweet strangers like you online (thanks!)

I personally don't think it's gatekeeping to call out obvious trolls who cruelly satirize our community, like Tucker Carlson putting she/her in his bio and then saying we have to respect his new identity. How do you think we should respond to claims of LGBTQ identity made in bad faith?

@amyanshawnye Do you and Be you, beautiful people! Even if grandma's not on board, your child will understand who y'all are. Young people know what's up. A homophobic partner of my sister's kept me away from a nephew for years after I started transitioning, and it took my mother and sister some time too to come around (almost two years!). My dad and grandparents still can't even be in the same room, and do not honor my name, pronouns, or identity. Even though my nephew knew me as the opposite gender and sex for a decade, it was a total non-issue to accept me for who I am now (he's in high school now). My sister and he are both very supportive and kind. Your kid will understand the nuances of love and bigotry as they grow up, which is valuable and good.

As for my dad's side of the family; it's painful for me. I love and miss them, even though they can't love me the same way. When I have the capacity to be deadnamed and mis-gendered and made fun of, I reach out. It's hard to give up the hope and desire for them to understand me for who I am, but if we are to have any kind of relationship, that is one thing I have to do! Truth is: even my supportive sister who I am very close with doesn't understand me in that way. She just realizes she doesn't need to understand me to love and support me. 💗

@GwennKoi

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
(Parable of the Talents is nearby ofc as well)