Here's a tweet I didn't have the courage to send

Friend took maybe the best photo of me that's ever been taken??

I'm in the Benfica museum in Lisbon and I'm getting a slow building sense of respect for whoever wrote this fantastically over-florid copy about the club presidents

You certainly find some interesting stuff in charity shops

What could The Most Common Hacky Metaphor in Media possibly mean???!?!?

Did this joke on the birdfeed a few years ago and still think it's a pretty good one

Last minute important meeting appeared in my calendar at work

FYI: an image that caused one of my friends to ask if the cat was real