In order to counterbalance the horrors of attempting to watch a Netflix romcom (see previous post) I just re-watched Everything Everywhere All At Once, from A24 who consistently pioneer the production of truly interesting & groundbreaking films where the writing & characters are central to the narrative and not just appendages to a massively overblown FX budget (Ex Machina, Under The Skin, Midsommar, Red Rocket).

EEAAO is just so damn clever: intelligent sci-fi unpacking multiverses & consciousness in the most insightful, goofy, brilliant, hilarious, though-provoking, ridiculous, profound, brilliantly acted way. I love a film that I've never seen a prelude to before - it's like nothing else on the screen, and even with all those layers of mulitverse action going on I still cry my eyes out at the portrayal of the mother-daughter relationship with all its faults & intricacies. Of course Michelle Yeoh can do no wrong, damnit that woman's been in all my fave sci-fi, including Star Trek Discovery, and she's joined by a stunning cast - Stephanie Hsu is quite brilliant as Jobu Tupaki.

A genuinely original film that takes my #1 favourite of all time, even over Blade Runner which held the top spot for longer than I care to admit.

#scifi #film #EEAAO

Some thoughts on spending Christmas alone, and dealing with workplace bullies:

Spending Christmas alone has so far been a quite lovely experience. Yesterday morning, I walked 15km along the riverside to the next town & back on a bright & cold, sunny day where I stood to watch a hunting sparrowhawk quivering in a cerulean sky, then a small cloud of sparrows swooping & diving in chaotic unison. Walking, I saw a couple of cormorants as black slicks riding along the river’s rippled surface, and a number of ducks leapt with loud splashes into the water as I passed. Finally I heard my favourite sound – the surreal & comical squeak of four oystercatchers as they flapped black & white bodies low then high above a boisterous river barrelling determinedly towards the sea.

Arriving home, I prepared a vegan feast without having to check if anyone minded my culinary choices, and I ate three helpings without feeling judged.

The only glitch in an otherwise wonderful day, was the decision to put on a Netflix romcom or two – I didn’t want to watch anything challenging or that might provoke too much emotion. I was aiming for the giddy heights of the psychological equivalent of eating mashed potatoes, but I quickly felt really fucking annoyed at the repetition of harmful tropes that show a man and a woman who ‘don’t like each other’ in the beginning, eventually falling in love.

Perhaps this is triggering me right now because I’m struggling with a workplace bully of a man who’s unhealthy obsession with me is matched only by his ability to control the narrative, which means that when I make complaints and vociferously speak out about his obnoxious behaviour I’m not taken seriously. I feel that he (and those surrounding him) are using this ‘man and woman who hate, but secretly fancy, each other’ trope to minimise my distress at this escalating situation.

It reminds me of the schoolyard stories of little girls being upset when a boy targets her or pulls her hair only for the adults to say, 'take it as a compliment, it means he fancies you'. As if that makes it okay. As if she should be flattered that he's noticed her and just learn to internalise this bad behaviour instead of calling it out. But here’s the thing, I’m not a child in a playground (although this situation feels like being back at school), I’m a middle-aged woman with decades of experience and wisdom to bring to this situation. I know my own mind, and I will not allow these interactions with this man to go ignored. Additionally, the fact that I write explicit sex scenes in my novels doesn’t mean that ‘I’m secretly gagging for it’, in the same way that a woman wearing a short skirt is not asking to be raped.

I feel strongly that these romcom tropes have no place in a post #metoo world where women’s lived experiences at the hands of toxic men must no longer be minimised or made light of. We need more women writing stories for women, about ‘intentionally single’ women’s rich inner lives, and all the shadow-work that entails, in order to counter this harmful romcom drivel. To be honest I was getting bored of Netflix anyway.

#intentionallysingle #feminism #feminist #solo #introvert #alonenotlonely #romcom #tropes #workplace #bully

On a day when the external grey clouds felt indistinguishable from those in my head, I walked to the unswimmable river and stood on a sky-blue bridge while cars hummed and rattled the metal path beneath me.

A large, black, cormorant coasted above water that swirled with silt as I wrote a list of traits that no longer serve me. I wanted to honour my deep shadow-work journey at the winter solstice as the earth's power shifted from the Oak King to the Holly King and we began the return transition towards the bright sun.

Then I lit each piece of paper, allowed it to float, aflame, into the water, but a single stubborn piece wouldn’t light. And I laughed to note that on it was written a trait I’ve struggled with for such a long time, clearly I might do for a while yet.

Lighting more matches, I watched the edges of the paper burn, but each time the flame blew out before the word could be erased. After a number of failed attempts, the paper finally transformed into ash that missed the water entirely and landed in the mud.

The universe is not without a sense of humour. But I've also got my instructions - I now know what work needs to be done over these coming months.

#solstice #winter #ceremony #shadowwork #holly #oak #transition

The Danish writer Janne Teller argues that if AI can scrape all the data from books written by humans in order democratise knowledge, then all AI platforms should be nationalised for a fair and balanced exchange.

Discuss.

#AI #AIbooks #democratiseAI #bookstadon #writer #writing #amwriting

I don’t publish on Amazon. I don’t buy from Amazon. I refuse to support Bezos in any way whatsoever. This is obviously not going to upset him in the slightest, but that man is literally the modern-day embodiment of Roman emperor Caligula and his ilk. The work policies for Amazon warehouse staff are impossibly cruel and have massive negative impacts on employee’s physical and mental health. He doesn’t give a fuck. Just pays people as little as possible, uses them up, then tosses them on the scrapheap – there’s plenty more where they came from in his mind. I hate that he silences people by blocking all workers' attempts to unionise, preventing them from fighting for fair pay and working conditions so that he can live his life of debauchery with his multi-million-dollar weddings and foam parties on luxury yachts.

#fuckamazon #fuckbezos #unionise #union #bookstadon #eattherich #writer #amwriting #amazon #publishing #bezos