I repaired a hole in the driveway last year, filled it up with fresh asphalt. This summer a chunk of grass has decided to grow, not only on top of it, but through it, spreading its roots in a deep and tangled mass.

How!? It should be petrochemical death, the antithesis of life. Meanwhile, my indoor plants choke if the humidity is a tad wrong.

"Outlook messages in the main bin are automatically deleted after 6 months. It is your responsibility to save important emails."

"Alright, I'll just mark them as important and put them in another folder."

"Correction, all emails are automatically deleted after 6 months. It is your responsibility to save important emails."

"Alright, I guess I'll just save the important ones on the desktop."

"Correction. All emails are automatically deleted after 6 months. It is strictly forbidden to save emails containing sensitive material in non-secure places like the desktop. Addendum, printing is triple forbidden. It is your responsibility to save important emails."

"Can you just tell me where to save them?"

"No."

*sobbing in corner*