*sees my little guy on the porch, frantically barking for dinner*

Me: I can't stand to see you like this.

*switches off porch light*

In the first 24 hours of our vacation:

1 person stabbed himself and needed stitches.
1 person had Wendy's induced diarrhea at 3am when incredibly high
1 *adult* person thought it was ok to put a candle on top of a cardboard box in the bathroom
2 people were awakened at 3am to a bathroom fire (one high as a kite with stomach cramps, too)

"I guess I must be dumb
'cause you had a pocket full of horses-
Trojans and some of them used"

HOL UP.
Bitch had *USED* TROJANS in her pocket?!

Excavating in my son's room and found this fascinating relic. Ceremonial, I'd guess.

Sidenote- he's 13 and never knew AOL.
Also, disc is dated 2003. They were still giving out these things in 2003?!

#archaeology