"But why are you still on Twitter?"

Listen. I am an internet ancient. I stood amidst LiveJournal as it crumbled while I watched the fall of Flickr. I was there both times Tumblr burned down, toasting marshmallows over its smouldering ruin, laughing at the folly of Verizon. The death of Twitter was foretold by the dark prophecies of the forgotten internets. I am there to witness its passing as the old internet is dying and the new internet struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters.