Neil

@NeilPollyTicks
1,095 Followers
1.3K Following
279 Posts
Not a real parrot▪️¡No pasarán! 🇪🇺🕯▪️ history, science, sci-fi & politics▪️puns & wordplay, occasionally sweary (just like in real life)▪️#FBPE #ProgressiveAlliance ▪️ NatSci ▪️Hull City #hcafc 🐯▪️Pratcheteer 🎩 GNU STP▪️NHS 💙
ME: Fuuuuuuck this hangover
THE CAT <bonk>: Oh no. How sad. Anyway. You should feed me.
ME: I feel like death
THE CAT <bonk>: Feeding me would help.
ME: How would that help?!
THE CAT <bonk>: I meant it would help me.
ME: Can you PLEASE stop doing that.
THE CAT <bonk>: Doing what?
ME: Headbutting my head
THE CAT <bonk>: oh THAT
ME: I literally just told you I have a hangover.
THE CAT <bonk>: And I told you feeding me would help
ME: How?!
THE CAT <bonk>: The headbutting would stop. That's one way.
I found this taped to the door of the geography department at GWU today and it brought me so much joy. A guide to figuring out when a map was made based on features. Zoom in. It’s amazing.

BOSS: I need you to put these coupon stickers on all the Pick Me Up boxes

EMPLOYEE: Do you care where we place those stickers?

BOSS: Yeah, *on the box*. Don’t make me repeat myself. Idiots.

True but only three channels so tuning wasn’t hard 😂

OH: Where's my make-up brush?

10yo (F): wasn't me

4yo (M): [producing it from hiding place under his bed] it makes my face smell of mummy

Morning. This weird cat reaction made me laugh.
REM puns are ever Green
My Lord of the Rings obsession is ruining my life, but I just can’t kick the hobbit.
There are some pretty big Social Media names here on #mastodon now, and with quite a big following already. 
So, can I please ask them, all of us in fact - if you agree with a comment don’t just ‘like’ it, no, reblog, and as much as possible. It’s the way this site works, strengthens the community, and massively broadens the reach. Thanks.
Soumitri Chakraborty (she/her) on Twitter

“It sums up all the stories @RishiSunak #NursesStrike”

Twitter