The Liker. Likes your posts. Says nothing. You are comforted by them liking your posts, somehow.

The Booster. Boosts lots of posts. Most of their profile is boosts. They use Fedi like a content aggregator. They have nothing much to say, but they share what other people say.

The Reply Guy. Thinks the Fediverse is like a university debating society. Will always take your post with a maximalist interpretation, regardless of what your post is about. Does not understand that you don’t need a devil’s advocate for your post about what sandwich you should get.

The Content Farmer. Despite the lack of algorithm, these accounts seem to “borrow” posts from other platforms and only exist to farm engagement. This ranges from dedicated, but ultimately useful, accounts (eg Memes From Outside Fedi) to people who copy the text from Tumblr posts and pass them off as their own.

The Bidenist. They’re harmless, just annoying.

The Memer. The lifeblood of any social network. The Fediverse is a place for metaphorical stand up comedy, and for sharing the most snarky satire you’ve seen.

The Normal. Very rare. Just a regular person. They log in every few days, and then go back to their lives. They don’t even know what a Fedi Meta is.

The Computer Toucher. They speak in acronyms; words that you think are from the dictionary, but have another meaning; and in monospace text. They are constantly posting about something that goes beep and sometimes goes boop. They don’t post about much else, if ever.

The Diarist. This person uses the Fediverse to talk about their day, their dreams, their hopes, their thoughts. The Fediverse is a place to take these things from their brain and into written form. They don’t seem to care if anyone notices, but they don’t also mind that people comment.

The Meta Lover. This account seems to post endless essays about the Fediverse, for some reason. Like, they solely seem to post about it, and not in an interesting, thought-provoking, or creative manner. Just pure essays about nothing.

You, the girl reading this. You’re really cute. ❤️