Liberal senator Jim "war crimes and atrocities" Molan has died. And it's my birthday! 🥳

I just can't enjoy things. Every time a bad person dies I'm like "okay good, but what about the rest of them?"

Awkwardly managing to climb out of my beanbag. It takes several attempts. My outstretched airplane arms just barely able to balance me. Some of my drink spills as I fight to stay upright. I wobble as I raise my glass.
"To family and friends old and new!" I holler, unaware of the volume of my voice.
I try to toast and miss my mouth. What's left of my drink goes all down my front. I ungracefully stumble backwards, landing on my arse, missing the beanbag

Get you a man who can turn beer into endearing charm and piss

Watching Muppet Christmas for the first time. This Scrooge guy is such a cunt

Got a bit of a cute tummy have ya? Up half the night submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known were ya mate!? Ahahaha, only teasing!