@ada Because I have interacted with you before I am going to try one last time to explain the problem. And a reminder, I’m a bisexual, so I am (allegedly) part of the community you have mentioned.

What you do on your instance. How you moderate on your instance. Are between you and your members. And if you behave in a manner I find reprehensible; I can voluntarily leave.

The problem is when you insist that the rules of your instance must be followed on another instance and if they do not, you will defederate them. At the point when you say, “behave this way in your instance or we will do X” then you have moved from moderation to extortion. And let’s be clear money is involved. This is one instance owner who is probably taking donations from instance users threatening another instance owner in the same situation.

That is different from “co-sysops this guy is a problem; he won’t moderate at all or not to our exacting requirements. For the protection of our instance we are defederating.” You have every right to do that, even when you are making assumptions about what all queer people want and/or that all queer people agree on X or Y when you know good and well we don’t. That’s your right as instance owner/manager and I will support it even when I think you’re making a mistake.

This is the fediverse as I understand it. And I am telling you from a technical and human perspective it is 1. Not scalable and 2 will, over time, create frictions between Big Name Instances and smaller ones. I’ll likely be dead by the time it happens, but there’s my prognostication. Do with it as you will. I’m out of the discussion.

@juliewebgirl @hakona