Why is he asking questions about heaven and girls when an alien intelligence visits him?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Oh great. The fate of earth hinges on an average american voter.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr! a single destructive animal on a rampage.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Oh no, a crypto expert on tv.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
We knew one asian guy. And let him improv. Hope he didn't swear.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
So this is a one act play between one actor, a voice heard from off stage, voices from a TV, and monster roars.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
The snail that chases you across the Earth and kills you if it touches you. Only the snail is 300 feet tall.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
ZARKORR'S BACK! We love Zarkorr!!
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr just pawn in game of cosmic chess.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr onscreen time is up to like 2 minutes and 15 seconds now?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
The one act play has a second set! Which is just the back stage behind the curtain. Literally. And some featured extras.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
For contest this was an era of America when the term "going postal" was a thing after a few mail men without proper mental help went on rampages.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
This is a story someone wrote down. A second person thought it was a good enough story to film. They gathered other people with money to pay for this. And they hired a director and crew to put on this so called story. Why?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Is this supposed to have... "humor"?
What even is tone? What is acting?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
It feels like every direction and writing choice in this movie is the wrong one. The acting is not good, but I'm not sure I can lay any sizeable amount of blame on the actors they could find for what little they must have been paid.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
THRILL! To the hostage negotiation scene in ZARKORR!! The Invader kaiju movie.
Why? Ya know we could be watching a better kaiju movie with crimes happening. Have we seen Dogora yet? It has jewel thieves.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
If the cast was filled with stand up comedians this comedy might work, maybe. It's still be really dumb. But someone could work actual comedy into this shit.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
ZARKORR! Please destroy us all! Destroy this movie! Make it end!
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr on screen time... maybe 2 minutes and 45 seconds? That one wasn't even 30 seconds.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Huh. That guy doing multiple voices on the radio almost sounds like Steven Blum.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
I could be watching the Black Lizard (Kuro Tokage the 1968 version, not the 1962 version I already saw it, great movie with fun musical numbers) right now. I've been meaning to watch it for ages, because it's based on an Egogawa Rampo detective story I really liked. I extra wanna watch it now since the female lead was played by the drag queen Akihiro Miwa who just passed away.
But no I am watching Zarkorr...
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Why are we listening to a bad actor make fart noises and ramble?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
As a New Jersey native I take no responsibility for anything that happens in this movie. If you want authentic monster/alien fighting from New Jersey may I recommend Megas XLR.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr time is at... 3 minutes 30 seconds if I'm being generous.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
*hackerman activated*
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
How is an average earthling supposed to find any of these "clues"?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
I almost miss when this movie was one guy in his apartment arguing with a flightless fairy.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
MIB prequel?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Reuses stock footage of Zarkorr on tvs doesn't count towards Zarkorr screen time.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Have you tried righty tighty lefty loosey?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Why does the postal worker look like he's melting into the passenger seat?
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
RIP to the OOF building
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
ZARKORR I LOVE YOU! I wanna write fanfic about you being in a good movie.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Oh that was like a whole minute of Zarkorr. Let's say 4 minutes 40 seconds of Zarkorr.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr 5 minutes. Ooh composite shot. It's competent.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Are we reusing eye laser shots now? Ya know getting Zarkorr to shoot his eye lasers at any mirror would have been cooler than finding some space frisbee halfway across the country from space to do it. Brains not random clue tracking.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Okay so that was 5 minutes of Zarkorr footage MAYBE 6 minutes. For... NOTHING.
This movie blows. Remember you voted for this. We asked for this.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Okay Zarkorr gets a theme song. That alos is worth one star. But that only bumps the movie up to 1 & 1/2 stars out of 5.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Here. The ending theme. The only good part of the movie outside of the very rare kaiju effects shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeuNPW_wVh0
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Zarkorr! The Invader End Credits Theme Song

YouTube
And now a Godfrey Ho movie. It has to be better. Right?
*picks up Garfield phone* Right??
#Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Miru
Now class what did we learn by watching a Full Moon entertainment movie?
That's right, Charles Band want to hurt us. He's done it before, he will do it again.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr
Now with a Godfrey Ho picture we know for certain that he just took the monster footage from one movie and glued some extra scenes onto it to make a movie.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Hey this opening has pictures of reptiles behind the credits. And they run by faster. Plus there's a peppy little song on a casio keyboard player.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Ah yes a good old Omni dub. From the people that brought us the aweful Transformers Headmasters dub and the cheaper Godzilla movie dubs.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
You want Frogzillas. This is how you get Frogzillas.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent #WrongFrogs #Monster #Frogs
For more information on the people making this horrible dub... there is very little really. But we have a web page about their perversions of Transformers dubs atleast.
https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Omni_Productions
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Omni Productions - Transformers Wiki

Terrorists attacking a science facility with monster experiments going on? Did Godzilla vs Biollante rip this off? Oh fuck no. Nobody at Toho ever heard of this crap. But it's funny to compare.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Dr T? Dr Ti? Dr Tea? Dr Teeth and the frog mutant mayhem?
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Random white guys? Hello new pointless footage Godfrey Ho added. Sadly no Ninja bandana or Garfield phone in sight.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Mossland? Wait what is she calling the snake? Moslap?
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiantSerpent
Name's Fast. Ted Fast. *puts on sunglasses*
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
The snake puppet has had more screen time than Zarkorr already.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Mozler dragged her out of danger, and ended up in more danger, so has to break her back out of a collapsed burning building. This snake is a guardian angel protecting a cursed child.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Meanwhile in footage added to pad the run time. Ted Fast runs from some white guys unrelated to the serpent action.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Pierre Kirby is Ted Fast as the best actor Godfrey Ho found for cheap in Hong Kong stars as an action scene extra in this movie about a kid and her pet snake.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
If you had kaiju juice what animal would you turn into a titanic pet? I wanna see a thirty foot tall chinchilla.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
This almost reminds me of the movie with a kid who gets a magic rock that's an alien and it all ends in kung fu fighting with Cynthia Rothrock.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
"I got da box boss! It's em`ty."
"Hey wadda `bout dat gigantic snake dats always with da goil?"
"Hmmm."
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Ting ting walla walla bing bang
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Why do you have so many boxes of oranges? Are you a fruit resaler? I thought that was your garage.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Oh no! The snake knows kung fu! Our gang is finsihed!
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
@diazona the magic rock movie was better, but this one is keeping my interest. Which is more than I can say for Zarkorr.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent
Magic Crystal

Archaeologist Shum finds an antique jade with supernatural power in Greece. The stone is wanted both by KGB's agent Karoff and the Interpol. Shum asks his

Eggplant.place Movie
@strangefour Crows. Giant crows stealing all the shiny things like cars and hot dog carts!
@strangefour My pet bearded dragon Pickle. Then I'd ride him like a cowboy down the streets of Old Town.

@strangefour

But there'll be sequins, right? RIGHT???

#Monsterdon #MonsterMiru

@strangefour Mostly he just wants to see little things hitting each other. I'm down for most of his perversions. But this was *bad*.
@mdhughes Oh yeah, we're gonna see more. And we are gonna have fun making fun of them. But we got two of the worst things Charles Band stuck the Full Moon name on then threw on Blockbuster shelves so far. (And Seedpeople which was okay, maybe even great for Full Moon).
#Monsterdon

@strangefour I'm used to the higher-quality Full Moons, like Subspecies, Puppet Master, Demonic Toys, & Dollman. The one where he rented a castle for a weekend, that was fun.

I clearly didn't see *all* of their catalog when I was a movie clerk.

@mdhughes Yeah we haven't done one of the long running decreasing budget/quality movies yet. Subspecies and Puppet Master will be great Monsterdon fodder in the future.
#Monsterdon