Thom, a distro-agnostic toolI want a rack full of cool servers so bad. I desperately want that clabretro lifestyle, but while I have my own office here, running a rack in it seems suboptimal.
I need a basement.
h3artbl33d 
I found out that there are companies specialized in building basements under existing housing/buildings.
No excuses 
Would make an interesting stretch goal for your fundraiser though