Mastodawn

TL;DR: Yep, I'm a woman.

As of 17-Jun-26, #GenderQuest is a set of threads related to my movement from cis man to demiman to considering being less man and possibly more woman than I'd thought before.

I'm pinning this with links to each of the thread starters, to edit as things progress.

Initial wondering (18-Feb-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116091924889943010

Grief about GenderQuest and chronic illness (13-Mar-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116223633843084229

Exploring potential womanhood (4-May-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116517547558595303

Yep, I'm a woman (15-Jun-26): https://toot.cat/@naga/116750690409006999

Show thread

Pat (she/her)3d ago

Phase 1 of my #GenderQuest is complete. I have realized I am a woman, contrary to what I believed for 56 years and change. For now, I'm sticking with my the name I've gone by all my life, "Pat," as perhaps the most androgynous (shortened) given name in the English-speaking Western world.

This toot is the first public component of my transition.

No element of medical transition can or will ever happen due to my physical health, even aside from other barriers, and that's fine.

I don't yet know where GenderQuest will go from here. Presentation, shapewear, name and/or pronouns in different settings, I just don't know. I'll probably start shaving my face for the first time in over twenty years.

But I don't have to know. This is good for now.

Thank you all my friends for your support, to date and ongoing.

#Transgender #Transition #Transwoman #GenderIdentity #Hatching #Hatchling #Hatched

Show thread

Pat (she/her)3d ago

Jalan suggested thinking of how we celebrate.

I remembered that one grocery store we use has what they market as a "Celebration Cake," which has amused me for years, because under the white frosting it's layered in #TransPride colors.

In another topic that amuses me, my transition conveniently has no implications for how I think of my sexual orientation. #AcePride

#GenderQuest

Show thread

Pat (she/her)

Just told Dragonlet.

Their coming out to us as nonbinary in December (8 at the time) had a lot to do with me re-examining my own gender.

For now, I've left it up to them if they want to keep calling me "Daddy," or try something else. I love their calling me that, and I don't need it to change now. I did say I might feel differently as all of this settles in, but for now its their choice.

Hashtags follow:

#GenderQuest #GenderTransition #QueerParenting

Show thread

Pat (she/her)3d ago

#GenderQuest phase 2 begins.

As part of this process over time, I've been both remembering the past and realizing various current elements of #GenitalDysphoria

Specifically the steps I would take, especially in early adolescence, to suppress erections and ejaculation.

One of the tools I've been using recently is consistently wearing a condom in any scenario that might lead to ejaculation. I still experience the full orgasm, but there's nothing that's particularly visible (also no mess/residue, which figures in).

That's been working better than I expected. It already feels normal, not any kind of chore. And it feels good -- or, more accurately -- ejaculation doesn't detract from what feels good.

Erections are somewhat different. Not just in sexual activity, but tenting and so on. And just overall thinking of how to minimize my conscious awareness of my external genitals.

So I've started shopping for tuck/gaffe briefs. The goal is the "flat front," and to be reasonably resistant to being pushed out with an erection.

My health problems mean any means of addressing this have to be physically quite easy to implement.

Advice or product recommendations welcome from those who've traveled this road! (Or anyone else.)

Tags follow

#Transgender #Transition #TransWoman #GenderDysphoria #CrossDresser #CrossDressing

Show thread

Pat (she/her)3d ago

Message from Jalan just now:

"So, my wife. Are you coming to bed?"

squee

#GenderQuest #GenderEuphoria

Show thread

Pat (she/her)3d ago

That's likely my first use of "squee" online.

Didn't even have to think about it. 😆

Show thread

Pat (she/her)2d ago

Took a long time to fall asleep last night...

#GenderQuest #TransJoy

Show thread

Michael ⛈️ 🐵3d ago

@naga
Congratulations, Pat!

@mplouffe
Thank you!

Yeah, I'm gonna stay mad about the half-century gap (between dysphoria and transition) for at least a while yet.

I was in Texas, US, at the time, in the 1970s. And raised by Silent-Generation parents who'd grown up on farms. And the way my family showed "affection" was cutting remarks at the dinner table (which, being #ActuallyAutistic, didn't actually translate for me.) 1980s culture, at least in Texas and other places I lived in the South, didn't really improve things much.

So, yeah, it wasn't something I missed. There really was no way I would have seen an option then. And by the time I might have seen this as possible for myself, I'd walled everything off.

I know it's never too late. And I'm good with that, because I'm delighted now, and so glad I pursued learning my gender. But I'm also still mad.

#GenderQuest