Humphrey Archer1d ago
The Duke of Fall 

Society could use some real effort spent on teaching folks what to do with rejection.

People absolutely suck at handling the word "no," and preparing for what comes next.

Walking into someone else's decision just hoping for the best and with no plan for being declined is just really, really bad, and yet few folks seem to get any structured advice or teaching on dealing with this inevitability of living in a society with others.

May 30 at 5:12pmWeb
Show threadHumphrey Archer1d ago
@valthonis
Ditto failure in general
Show threadPteryx the Puzzle Secretary1d ago
@valthonis
This probably has a lot to do with why "AI" is as successful as it is: the things are nigh-incapable of saying "no", and even to the degree they are, it's only after they've strung you along for hours of token-spending trying to convince you that the impossible is possible.
Show threadUnCovered Myths1d ago

@valthonis

Yes, definitely need better options.

Failure as a kid was met with beatings and curse words.

Failure as an adult meant go away and never come back. Including at jobs.

It shouldn't be that way.

Show threadS. John Ross1d ago

@valthonis I feel our backgrounds must be very different on that ...

I got training on the topic so regularly (from parents, from teachers, from church folks etc) that I find I'm on wobbly footing in the face of a "yes" or any form of acceptance.

And never taught as a contingency, always as a default. "Understand that it's noble to try and to ask, but the answer is going to be no." 😂

Show threadJanet1d ago
@SJohnRoss @valthonis Gotta bless the church, if it did nothing else for us it taught us to deal with the crushing weight of inevitable (and often pointless) defeat.
Show threadS. John Ross1d ago
@Janet_52square @valthonis I will always have basically negative views of them as institutions, but I will always remember some excellent individuals that, without the creepy basement cults I was raised in, I wouldn't have gotten to know. 😅
Show threadJanet1d ago
@SJohnRoss @valthonis Me too and I had a long and complicated relationship with church that I shall not bore you with on a Saturday night - long before the insecurity of Instagram I had ‘God’ and my mother to keep me humble! 😇
Show threadNomdeb1d ago
@valthonis As a woman I feel this so much especially. Declining being asked out, or second dates, or dancing, etc. Always was difficult. Men didn't always take it well. Often got pushback. Which then felt like I was in danger territory. I was never rude, usually a thank you, no. Or I don't think we are a match - trying to make it as impersonal as possible.