My wife is now my ex-wife, or will be when the court processes the documents. We signed papers in front of a Notary Public at a bank. For some reason she didn't invite us into her office so we were standing awkwardly at a counter/stand in the middle of the lobby.

Ex [signing papers]
Me: Are you signing MY papers?
Ex: No, these are MINE.
Me: Good. We're supposed to have everything separate now, including signatures. It's right here in these papers.

Later...
Me [knocking over a promotional sign on the weird counter thing, almost knocking a tote bag and umbrella onto the floor]: Oops!
Ex: I can't take you anywhere.
Me: Hence the divorce.

When the papers were all signed...
Notary [Looking directly at my ex]: "Congratulations"

Ex [looking at me]: (WTF face)
Me: (IDK face)

#divorce #amicable #stillsad #funny